The Bender Family

NC sledding

2012-01-31T10:49:00.000-08:00

We have a great hill in our back yard for sledding, but I think this is as close as we'll get this year. And I'm not complaining.

house of boys

2012-01-19T18:39:00.000-08:00

With a husband and 3 sons, it is sometimes painfully obvious that I am the one and only female in this house. I must constantly deal with gross smells and sounds, lack of attention to detail, lots of sports on tv and in my living room, loud mouths, rough-housing, pee all over the bathroom and conversations/comments like these:

Nate: Look, my penis. (He's standing there with his penis out of his pants, proudly.)
Justin: Put your penis away. I told you about that. (We'd both told him about that many times.)

Nate: Basketball players not grab themselves. They not take their penis out. They keep it in.
Me: True.

Nate: I need tissue. I got a bug in my nose.

Nate: There, much better. (As he pushes my hair in my face.)

Luke: If I'm going to be in kindergarten next year I can't be grabbing myself because kindergarteners don't grab themselves.
Me: That's right. (Sure, whatever you need to hear to make you stop grabbing yourself!)

Me: (Looking at a picture Luke has drawn of a man.) And what are these things?
Luke: Those are his boogers and ear wax.

Me: Get your socks and shoes on, we're leaving.
Luke: There are no clean socks in our drawer.
Me: Well, get some out of the laundry basket with the clean clothes in it.
Luke: ok.
Nate pulls out socks from the dirty clothes basket and I just go with it.

Luke: (after being in the bathroom for at least 45 minutes wiping his bottom) Is my bottom clean?

Nate: (after being in the bathroom for 10 seconds) I done, I done, I done, I done (gradually getting louder each time.)
I go in to wipe and he says: I not done, I go more.
1 minute later: I done, I done, I done, I done (gradually getting louder each time.)

So, my life is certainly not rainbows and flowers or hair braiding and ballet classes, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Because as much as these boys gross me out sometimes, I love that this is my life. I love all the ways they surprise me every day. I love the cuddles and I love you's I get in between the tackling and yelling. I love the drawings I get of me winning the obstacle course and a heart around my name. I'll cherish these moments until the memories are all I have because that love and affection will be fixed on some other girl (who I really hope is worthy of my boys.) And I look forward to each stage my boys will go through, even the smelly, grumpy teenage phase when they are embarrassed to be seen with me, because it's all part of the blessing of being a mom in a house of boys.

And for good measure, I'm including a visual aid. This is what we found after a particularly spirited bedtime in Luke and Nate's bedroom one night recently:

They had been "swimming" and were both wearing swim trunks and no shirts. Nate fell asleep on the floor (or is that a life raft?).

And then there's Colin. Not quite as obvious, but still "all boy" in his own ways. Here he is impatiently leading his horse friend, Oreo back to the stable. He waits for no one.

Whether you have a house of boys or girls or both, I hope you're able to enjoy what God has given you!

etsy update

2012-01-14T17:44:00.000-08:00

I took a little production break during (and after) the holidays from my new-ish Etsy business to replenish my creative energy. Now I'm back to work and have learned how to make a new kind of flower that I just love and added shoe clips and soft elastic headbands to my list of items. I have lots more items made than are listed on the site, so I'm hoping to be adding more regularly now. To see the new listings, visit my Etsy site, In the Sun.

yes, really.

2012-01-08T19:39:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I have to brag on my pastor for a second. See, being a Christian doesn't mean you have to be solemn and serious all the time. Sometimes it means enjoying this life we've been given and my pastor, Mark happens to be a good dancer. I first saw this at our own wedding when he showed off his MTV dance skills to the delight of everyone present. Now, several years later, he's still showcasing his moves as captured by another cool guy from our congregation. Click this link and then scroll down, click to play the music and check out the moves. That's his sweet wife, Holly next to him joining in the fun. I love it!

"I bree"

2012-01-07T15:43:00.000-08:00

Nate is 3! He got a new basketball hoop and we had an unofficial birthday party with some friends at Plaza Fiesta where the kids ran, climbed and slid until their little hearts were content. We only took a break for lunch and monster cake balls (yes, just like the ones I made for Luke). For some reason, Nate was quite a bit messier this time:

Then he had his class birthday party where he wore this great birthday hat and didn't want us to sing happy birthday to him. He surprised me with this objection to attention. So against his wishes, we sang anyway. He LOVES watching the video I took of that, so I guess he was just having a modest moment!

Now he tells everyone that he is almost 5 because he wants to be just like Luke.
He says, "I bree (3). I almo bive." He is still so hard to understand. It's getting better little by little but articulation is just not his thing. He says so many words, but I have to ask him to repeat himself constantly. He patiently obliges until I get it. So I'm trying to patiently wait for him to speak more clearly!

He's my little charmer; he's able to keep up with the 5 year olds on the playground despite his small stature; he's persistent and opinionated; and he's just the cutest little thing ever. I'm grateful once again that God knows better what I need than I do, because I sure do need Nate. Happy 3rd birthday little Nate!

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T10:35:00.000-08:00

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him,

so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13

Love,
the Benders

Christmas prayer

2011-12-21T07:46:00.000-08:00

Dear God,
Please help me to feel in my heart what I know in my head to be true about the season. It's so easy to get caught up in the seemingly never ending checklist this time of year (while staying within a reasonable budget that is more than we should spend before we even begin). Here are a few of the things on my checklist this year:
decorations (currently only partially completed),
Christmas cards (take suitable picture, order cards, address cards, get stamps),
letters to Santa (make sure that some things on Santa's list are here on Christmas morning),
homemade Christmas cookies,
gifts for teachers,
gifts for family (shipped in time),
gifts for kids (not under the tree because I only want to wrap them once),
then there's the ever present laundry, dishes, toilets, floors, random piles of papers and holiday crafts that have piled up in the meantime,
and so on...

Then as I'm attempting to complete the holiday checklist I have to deal with crowded stores and parking lots filled with people who don't seem to be in any rush at all, same with the heavier than usual traffic all over town. Then there is the post office. I'm not picky, I'll use any of the self-service stations or stand in line to deal with an unpleasant postal worker. Either way, I wait forever as people weigh single cards for postage stamps and again, appear not to be in any rush at all.

All the while, my patience grows thin and my irritability bubbles to the surface more quickly each day. Even when I try to find a small bit of peace in my car, my options for music are reduced to cheesy Christmas songs that I can't even try to like or one of 3 non-Christmas songs being rotated that I'm so sick of hearing I turn the radio off altogether. Then, inevitably one of them is stuck in my head so I try again to find something to listen to that won't make me want to crawl out of my skin. I know I could just make a CD with music I love right now, but I have the checklist and the irritability and so I don't do it.

So, Lord, help me to feel in my heart what I know is true in my head. Help me to leave behind the stress of a budget and all my have to's in order to embrace the opportunity for joy and peace through love that is available to me. Help me to look at my children with love and laugh with them. I want to soak in their youth as I know this stage won't last long. Help me take time to love my husband instead of taking his presence for granted. Help me enjoy time with friends as we celebrate the season in community. Help me to have a heart for serving others who are struggling during a time when it would be easy to focus only on myself and my family. And help me, above all, to know in the core of my being that none of it means anything if Jesus hadn't been born as a man to live on this earth and give his life to save me from my sins. When I focus on that treasure and the hope it gives me, all else melts away. Help me celebrate the birth of Jesus with a heart like His.

¹⁰And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. ¹¹For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.
¹²And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
¹³And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
¹⁴Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
Luke 2:6-14

Merry Christmas! And may the joy, peace and love of this season be with you and yours.

big 5

2011-12-17T18:13:00.000-08:00

It has been true craziness here for more than a month now. My brain is foggy, my shoulders and back have some serious knots, and our house is pretty much a giant wreck. But hey, I can't complain because the craziness has been made up of lots of good things.

One of those good things was celebrating Luke's 5th birthday. He chose to celebrate now instead of his half birthday like we have done in the past. So, logical as he is, he named all of the days we celebrated to keep them all straight. He had a "pretend birthday" = celebrating at school with his friends, a "real birthday" = December 13th, and a few days later, his birthday party (for which he was "already five"). He told everyone, and I mean everyone we saw this week that it was his birthday and that he was already 5. He was so proud.

For his "pretend birthday", I made monster cake balls. They were extra large cake balls with one edible eye and a monster finger puppet clawing it's way out. The kids loved them but they were even too sweet for me!

Luke's teacher makes special birthday shirts for all of the kids and he was so excited to get his.

With his class:

He only got one present, but it was a good one! The LeapPad really is cool and now he has one thanks to my mom.

Knowing that Nate would be all over the LeapPad, we gave him Luke's old Leapster Explorer wrapped up and disguised as an early Christmas gift. Surprisingly, neither of them caught on that it wasn't new. Is that tacky of us? I don't think so, we were just being resourceful! Here they both are having some electronic bonding time:

We took mostly video at the birthday party (which was at our house Friday afternoon) but I haven't looked through it yet. We did a pinata for the first time, classic pin the tail on the donkey, hot potato, hide the ball. It was the same stuff we did as kids (well, minus the pinata) and they loved it all just as much!
Happy 5th Birthday Luke!

crazy.

2011-11-16T19:59:00.000-08:00

Since my last post, I have started an Etsy shop, In the Sun, selling wreaths like the ones in my last post (at the urging of friends) as well as hair clips and headbands for girls. Crazy, right?

And, I also was offered (on Monday) a job teaching the toddler class at Luke and Nate's preschool, Tot Time. I accepted and started today, then came home to research ideas for how to keep the attention of 18 month olds and make more flowers for my little Etsy shop items.

I feel like I'm running on complete adrenaline, but I love the creative outlet and the opportunity to use my background in education beyond my own children.

So, crazy. I'm not sure how much I'll be posting on the blog in the near future due to schedule overload, but I'm sure I'll find a balance soon.

If you want to check out the Etsy site, I'm trying to list a couple of items each day because I have many more items made than are listed. It's all a learning process for me right now.

For those of you who come here for the kid stories, here's a recent, appropriate interaction:

Nate crawled behind me on the chair in the kitchen, purposefully pushed my hair in front of my face, leaned around to look at me and said, "There, much better."
Thank you, Nate, I tend to agree these days.

Hope you have lots to be thankful for too!

create

2011-11-03T17:32:00.000-07:00

I've been really trying to fill a creative space in my mind lately. The problem is that I start big projects and then don't finish them. I'm not a quitter, but my life just isn't conducive to projects needing time and focus right now. Thus, the less than half finished covered chair project (that I started in June) and an idea I had for a massive painting that I prepped for and still really want to revisit. In time I guess...I hope.

In the meantime, I decided to take on a few smaller projects. Thanks to Pinterest, I have lots of new inspiration! I started my own boards on the site, but am delighted that I haven't been completely consumed with it. I don't need another time suck in my life. I've made my own versions of the sunburst mirror and felt flower wreaths over the last few weeks. Cheap, fun and adds something new to my house! Here is a pic of the felt flowers I made:

and the finished wreaths to replace the old ones that were literally falling apart! (grapevine wreaths $5 each, berry branches $1 each - both on sale at Michaels, felt, a few flat round beads and a hot glue gun = a creative outlet and a pair of wreaths for my front doors for under $20):

full

2011-11-02T11:13:00.000-07:00

Our Octobers are always as full of fun family time as our bellies are full of sweet treats. Here are some pictures from the later part of the month for us:
Luke's class at the Noah's Ark parade. He is the tiger on the left. (Nate is at the same school, but the younger classes didn't participate.)

Heading to our neighborhood fall festival:

at the festival, bounce house fun for Luke and Nate. Colin isn't a fan.

He liked the animals better.

Luke couldn't get enough of petting and brushing the animals.

but Nate takes after me and steered clear.

yummy caramel apples (some with Heath crunchies) for a halloween party before trick-or-treat:

Luke, the giraffe:

Nate, the dog:

Colin, the tiger:

This might be the last time all 3 will be animals:

When Colin first saw me in my costume, he literally shook and cried with fear. I didn't think I was that scary! Good thing he finally realized it was me or this picture wouldn't have been possible:

Our trick-or-treating crew anxious to get their loot:

We all really enjoyed the night...best halloween yet!

VNTYPL8TS

2011-10-27T15:21:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, I was in traffic with 2 cars with pretentious vanity license plates. I wrote them down because I wanted to remember to tell Justin about them. Before I knew it, I started looking for more and more vanity tags over the next few months and wrote them down on whatever little scrap of paper I could find in my bag at the time. The result? A huge stack of paper scraps with sloppy scribbles and this blog post. I know it may be hard to believe, but I am not making any of these up. If you have a vanity plate and you see it listed here, congratulations on making my list! You rock! Warning: I am in a sarcastic mood as I write this post. Just sayin'.

The 2 that started this whole mini-obsession of mine were:
LDYLWYR (she was driving a black Porsche)
2LGT2QUT (driving a red Mustang)

Others I would place in the same ~~pretentious~~ totally awesome category would include:
STAR (this apparent celebrity was driving a Subaru Legacy)
4EVER21 (good for you, Audi convertable)

I'd like to call this next category, ~~Captain Obvious~~ descriptions:
GOLFPRO
FINEGLFR
BEACHFAN
MUVNFWD
BR1TCH1C
NATIVTXN

This category is called, ~~Bossypants~~ helpful advice:
BTRUTOU
SKIFASTR
B JOYFUL

This category is Are you trying to ~~annoy~~ entertain me?
BUGSLYF
DZRTROSE
PETPAMPR
FRMMYDAD
WHATEVOR (really? did this person want their license plate to say "whatever" so badly that they went with this lame spelling because the correct version was already taken? psh. whatever.)

And perhaps my favorite, deserving a category of it's very own:
FLMNGAY (you go boy!)

And to all of these drivers I would ask, was this really necessary? Did you really want to pay extra for a vanity tag that is either obvious, arrogant, pointless or annoying? Why? Why? I probably won't ever get it, but maybe because I'm just not the kind of person to have a personalized plate. If I did, it would probably be something equally lame like: 3BOYS&DN or DONT H8 or $$$$ $ - this one would only be used if I won the lottery. It would also blast the theme song to The Apprentice from mini license plate speakers. Or not.

What would yours say?

Need a translation?
LDYLWYR (lady lawyer) 2LGT2QUT (too legit to quit) 4EVER21 (forever 21) FINEGLFR (fine golfer) MUVNFWD (movin' forward) BR1TCH1C (brit(tish) chic) NATIVTXN (native texan) BTRUTOU (be true to you) SKIFASTR (ski faster) BUGSLYF (bugs life) DZRTROSE (desert rose) PETPAMPR (pet pamperer) FRMMYDAD (from my dad) FLMNGAY (flaming gay) 3BOYS&DN (3 boys and done) DONT H8 (don't hate) $$$$ $ (money money money money....money)

praise!

2011-10-26T09:17:00.000-07:00

Colin's adjustment to his new medicine (Keppra) has been seamless. When making the decision that I mentioned in a previous post, I actually wrote out a huge chart comparing all the side effects of the 3 possible medicines and one he has been on since he was 18 months old. I was surprised to find out that one of the new medicine options had fewer side effects than the one he has been on forever. The problem with it is that it's most prominent side effect is irritability and mood swings. Colin is such a happy kid and I didn't want to take that away from him. My research found that a B6 supplement can help some kids and typically moods balance out after 6 weeks on the medicine. So once I researched and wrote it all out, the decision wasn't that difficult after all! So Colin has been weaned off his old medicine and has been on Keppra for about 3 weeks and he is happier than ever (something I thought wasn't even possible) and I actually am seeing him have more control of his body when he is walking. Crazy to think that I got myself all worked up over a change that has ultimately been for the better! Why don't I just follow Colin's lead, he sure seems to know how to enjoy life.

So I was at my church women's retreat in beautiful Montreat, NC this past weekend. It was probably the best time I've had on one of these weekends. Loved the speaker, loved my small group discussions, loved time with my friends, loved laughing at all the silliness and being surprised by people. I arm wrestled, danced, used a black page from a magazine to give myself a fake missing tooth, did the splits, leapfrogged with a friend, and cracked up at seeing other women let loose too! It was a weekend that was good for my soul and God was present for me throughout. Historically, when God is really present for me, it has been during a heavy time in my life. It feels beautiful for me to feel his presence this way during a lighter season.

Upon my return from the retreat, I was refreshed, but not well rested. I'm still trying to catch up on sleep, knowing that it was well worth it. I'm striving for this: (although I'll never be this cute when I sleep!)

How do we face troubles with peace, rest, and equilibrium? The ultimate way to handle the troubles of life is not just through prayers of petition, but through worship. . . . Worship is the act of ascribing ultimate value to something in such a way that it engages the entire being: mind, will, and emotions.
- Tim Keller

10 ♥ 8 ♥ 11

2011-10-09T13:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, 10/8/11 marked 10 years since my first date with Justin. Tuesday, 10/11/11 will be our 8th wedding anniversary. I'm a dork and I can't get over the coincidence with all of the numbers. It's been quite a ride these 10 years and we finally might have steered our relationship in the direction it needs to be heading. Amen!

To celebrate, we were fortunate to have gotten away to the mountains a couple weeks ago while Grandma Pam and Grandpa Tom watched the boys. We're SO thankful! We have always been beach vacation people, so for a change of pace, I found a great deal on LivingSocial for a two night stay at the Waynesville Inn Resort and Spa in the NC mountains. Well, it was beautiful. It was much needed time away for us as a couple and a refreshing escape from everyday life. We filled our time taking in the sights of massive mountains and changing skies, checking out the nearby downtown, driving on the Blue Ridge Pkwy (the photo banner at the top of the blog was taken at one of the scenic overlooks), and enjoying conversations and quiet moments together. When can we go again? This was the view from our balcony:

This was along the Blue Ridge Parkway, we took a picture for this biker passing through, so he returned the favor.

We did this quick hike twice,

The first day it was so cloudy, we could barely see out. We were literally in the clouds.

So we went back the second day to see the difference. It was awesome.

We also made another stop for a hike down instead of up this time:

We were headed down to see this:

and it was totally worth it. (Yeah, that's me standing in the middle).
Then a nice tatted up man offered to take a picture of both of us:

OK, next topic:
Also, yesterday 10/8/11, was the ESUCP Walk with Me event at Freedom Park. We've been to this a few years and it has become something for us to look forward to. Last year, Colin was an honorary ambassador, so this year was much more low key. The high points for us were once again acknowledging the progress Colin has made as he showed some old friends his new independent walking skills on the grass around the lake and had much more stamina to go further with assistance than he did last year. The kids had fun on the bounce houses and slides and we soaked up the glorious weather. Our family wore the Colin's Crew shirts from last year and with the beautiful weather, I couldn't pass up a tripod family photo before we left. Not too bad:

Colin showing off his independence:

The Bender boys:

I took Colin down the slide and protected him from at least two (one pictured) kids following right after!

Thank you to our numbers of the week: 10, 8 and 11. These might be my new lucky numbers.

eeg update / my state of mind

2011-10-05T18:59:00.000-07:00

I recently posted about a long day when Colin had an ambulatory EEG. Many people have asked about the results of that test and I just received them today at another visit to the neurologist. It's no surprise that Colin's seizures were confirmed. They have been diagnosed as complex partial onset seizures in the right frontal and temporal lobes. Our doctor suggested that we start a new medication, then gave me 3 choices. All of them have unpleasant side effects and we have a week to do our own research and decide which will be best for Colin. When I lightly commented to the doctor that it will be a hard choice, he responded by saying, "well, you are moving up to a new level now." I began to pick up on the fact that this was something different, more serious than our typical, predictable appointments.

I didn't reflect on that comment until I was in the car on the drive home. I don't want to move up to a new level. I'm happy where we have been with Colin, thank you. My newest download "It is well with my soul" by Daniel Martin Moore came on. It's a beautiful version of the song, and up until this afternoon, it was uplifting to me. However, in my car after "moving up a level", it pulled my tears to the surface and poured them out over my face.

I want it to be well with my soul, but fears about Colin's future flood my mind and I lose control of the reigns that keep my head rational. I generally take life day to day with him, but this picture of moving up a level and wondering how many more levels there would be crashed down on me.

I allowed myself some time to cry and talked to my mom and Justin about my fears. Then I began to pull myself back together. I did some diagnosis and drug research to ground myself with some facts. The decision is not yet clear, but we have a few days to consider our options.

Having Colin has given me a new way of looking at so many things in this life. I'm so grateful that I get to be his mother. However, there is an inevitable cycle of fear and grief that comes around every so often. It tends to pass more quickly now, but it's still hard to roll with. I'm left tonight feeling drained, and looking forward to tomorrow when I can hopefully look at this situation with fresh eyes. Eyes that are focused on all the blessings God has given me already and the promise that he plans to prosper, not harm me, to give me hope and a future. (Jer 29:11)

When peace like a river attendeth my way,
when sorrows like sea billows roll.
Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say
It is well, it is well with my soul.

Hasten the day when faith shall be sight,
the clouds be rolled back as a scroll.
The trumpet will sound
and a light shall descend.
Even so, it is well with my soul.

a mama in Heaven and on Earth

2011-09-19T16:23:00.000-07:00

In a recent post, I mentioned my good friends' scrappy baby in Heaven. Shortly after that, God showed us how perfect and pleasing his timing can be, even for a couple who had waited and waited....and waited....aaaannd waited to become parents. Their waiting is now over and they are the proud mama and daddy of two precious girls who were clearly meant to be theirs all along. What I love best is hearing Jen call them "my girls" or "our girls" when she shares stories. She says it with such satisfaction and pride. I just love it.

I could gush about the few times I've been around the girls and how I've felt to see my friends' dream realized, but instead I'll let you read Jen's endearing words and see her beautiful pictures:
Her introduction of the girls.
Big sister's first day of school.

Aren't they ADORABLE? Congratulations to my patient friends and to those lucky girls for hitting the adoption jackpot!

caught on video

2011-09-15T15:05:00.000-07:00

Look what I caught on video this afternoon!

For the past two days Colin has been pulling up on the couch and practicing his walking all by himself! I hear him from the kitchen and when I go in to see, he wants my help again. He has always pulled up on a person to get started, so this is an exciting new step towards independence for him! My dream of seeing him just walk into the room is becoming more and more realistic every day!

long. day.

2011-09-12T16:47:00.000-07:00

What. a. day. And it's not even over. I've been banished from the living room because my nerves are shot and I'm making Justin nervous now. This is why:

Colin has had 3 seizures since Memorial Day. They were spread over the the first 2/3 of summer. They were petit mal, so it just looked like he was zoning out and not able to support his body, no convulsions. Today he is having an ambulatory (take home) EEG. He had to go to bed last night at 11 and wake up at 4am. Justin took the night shift until 11 and I woke him up at 4 this morning. I don't do well getting up that early. I needed a little time on the computer to wake up before giving Colin some walking practice in between washing his hair with a special shampoo in the sink, unloading the dishwasher, packing Luke's lunch for school and doing a load of laundry. If I didn't need so much sleep, I could get so much more done! Nate made an appearance around 4:45 and I promptly ushered him back to bed. He showed up again around 6:30, an hour before he usually gets up, but I rolled with it because it wasn't unreasonable and I knew we'd all be a little cranky today anyway. Luke emerged around 7. Our typical morning routine took over from there.

I took the 3 boys to drop Luke off at school. Colin decided that he couldn't walk once we got in the door and I nearly crashed into a wall twice trying to keep him on his feet. We got Luke to his class and then we were off to the doctor's office. I got a beautiful parking spot right in front of the door which felt like a huge gift. A woman held the door for Nate, Colin and me. Another huge gift. We checked in quickly and headed to the waiting room. Where we waited. For an hour. Colin practiced walking, occasionally crashing into other patients in the waiting area and bumping his head on the wall a few times. I ignored everyone's reactions in case they were judging me. Nate ran around begging me to chase him which I refused to do. So he climbed all over me and the chairs. Luckily the other patients seemed to think it was cute and couple of them told me so.

Finally, the lady came to get us for Colin's appointment. He had to lay on his back (which he hates) and stay still (which he hates) while she glued several wires to particular spots on his head. I had to basically lay on top of him to hold his body down, keep his arms trapped with my elbows and try to keep his head still with my hands. Quite an arm workout, especially considering that she stopped halfway through to show some clueless doctor how to find a document on the computer. Really? It couldn't have waited? I was laying on my son and yelling at the other one to stay in the room, stop touching the fan, and put back all of the medical equipment that he kept swiping off the counters. I was starting to lose it.

Colin was a total trooper and even laughed at some points in the process. That made him more squirmy, but at least he was happy. Here he is with all the wires attached at the doctor's office.

From that point, we had to wrap his head, including a ridiculous bulky piece right on top of his head. This was not smooth, but we got it done. Then she showed me the bag that would hold the machine. I took one look at it and thought that it would surely strangle him when he slept at night. She gave me a couple of ideas that won't work with him and dismissed the issue. Again, really? Then she told me that they have a backpack bag also, but that it would be too small for him. I was overwhelmed so I didn't ask more about it. I regretted that on the way home though because Colin is pretty tiny and unless it was made to fit a preemie, I'm sure we could have made the backpack work better than the over the shoulder strap. Nonetheless, we were on the way home, so I'd have to make it work.

So he doesn't mess with the wires, they suggested a hat:

He's so rough, we've had a hard time keeping the head gear on, so we re-wrapped it and added a sweet sweatband (thanks to the Hunts for that):

Even that was still wobbly, so Justin added an Ace bandage, giving him a nice cone-head look (you can really see the bulkyness of the wire pack in this one):

I don't know how tonight is going to go. During his nap this afternoon, I was a nervous wreck about him strangling himself and I checked on him several times. He seemed uncomfortable (who wouldn't be):

He normally hates laying on his back.

The poor kid even threw up tonight and he's not sick. We think it was a combination of little sleep and discomfort. Justin rigged the machine with the Ace bandage for bed tonight so it's out of his way as much as possible. We'll see how it works. I'm sure I'm in for another night of little sleep!

Then, as if that wasn't enough for one day, I had an appointment this afternoon to get some more work done on the veins in my legs. Long story short, I found out that the previous (and expensive) procedure I'd had done in the spring had basically come undone. The doctor said, "Very unusual for someone of your size." Awesome. Bad news is that I have to have it done again, but the good news is that I won't have to pay for it again.

Whatever is all I can think of right now.

1+2 makes 3 in school

2011-09-10T17:14:00.000-07:00

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. ~Edgar W. Howe

Luke and Nate started back to Tot Time this past week. Halleluiah! With all of my kids back in school (Nate for 2 days, Luke for 4 days and Colin every day), I'm embracing the end of summer even though I don't like that my tan is fading. They all love going, so I can be happy that they are back and not feel guilty! I don't know how my home-school mom friends do it. I'm not delusional like I was last year thinking that I'm going to be super-woman level productive in those few hours alone each week. I mean, I'll be productive, I just have the proper perspective on how much I can actually get done in those hours that fly by so quickly. My projects are already lined up: finish the chair project I started so long ago, clean and organize closets and cabinets, do something creative with writing or art, finally go to the DMV to get a handicapped tag for our car (this is something I meant to do over a year ago and just haven't quite gotten around to it), and of course keep up with the day to day house maintenance and laundry. I'd like to occasionally get together with friends for breakfast, coffee (in my case tea or hot chocolate), or lunch. I also plan to sub again this year at Tot Time as much as possible and maybe do some tutoring as well, if I can get over my insecurity of charging money for something I used to do for free. That list should pretty much take me the entire school year, not factoring in time for things that just come up!

Both Luke and Nate adjusted easily to their new teachers and classrooms. Luke is now in the "big kid" part of the hallway which is exciting for him and Nate still bolts into his room without a second thought to look back and say goodbye. Nate has the same teacher Luke had a couple of years ago and it definitely makes me realize how different the two are. Luke knew his alphabet, numbers, shapes, colors, so many things going into that class. And I can't tell if Nate knows his colors or not because he gets them wrong all the time and then laughs like he's so funny. I've even wondered if he's color blind. He's such a joker and not at all academic they way Luke is, but he's also more socially charming. Watch out ladies!

oHIo

2011-09-06T19:12:00.000-07:00

Well, as stated in my previous post, I was in Ohio last week with Luke and Nate while Justin was home with Colin. While the time dragged for me (see previous post), all the boys had a great week! Colin got so much walking practice while I was away that he can now make turns very consistently. He can walk 1 1/2 to 2 circles around our living room. He is walking from room to room more often too. I was amazed to see that much improvement in just one week. Amazing! I love it! Luke and Nate got to go to the Hancock County Fair (I know you're all jealous), eat lots of Dietsch's ice cream and other treats, have lots of fun family time, play with neighbor's kids, etc. They basically were spoiled and have been acting like it since we got home. I guess you can't blame them, they're just kids! Here's a look at some of the fun they had (click on any photo to view larger):

watching 2 old ladies do a song and dance routine on a small stage at the fair:

" ...what is happening?"

with my mom and grandparents (at that same show):

love my grandma:

now we're gettin' to the good stuff (love my grandpa's walking stick):

Luke loved this horse's orange hair:

Nate did not love this roller coaster that I talked the carnie into letting him ride because he was actually a couple inches too short. My bad.

Maybe one day...

This was fun, but short lived:

for both of them, apparently it wasn't comfortable in that harness!

all the prizes they "won":

and my favorite part of the evening:

yes, get every sugary morsel:

you missed some:

cousins being sprayed with the hose on a hot day:

yum, Dietsch's. (Notice Luke's face...this is his new thing, posing candidly. I know it's contradictory.)

home, sweet home.

sydney & scrappy

2011-08-31T12:32:00.000-07:00

I'm in Ohio with Luke and Nate this week. My heart is far away back in Charlotte though. Our church community suffered a great loss this week as Sydney Boone Gaylord left this world to be with Jesus where she is no doubt smiling and radiant. She has been battling a merciless brain tumor for the past 2 1/2 years. She is someone I longed to know better because she was just so delightful and magnetic. About the time she was diagnosed though, that idea became scary to me. Hadn't life been hard enough? Did I really need to become better friends with someone who might die too soon? At that time the answer was NO.

This past spring when she was in respite from profound suffering, she reached out to me. Nate and Boone (her youngest child) were buddies at school and she wanted us to get together for a playdate. This was my chance to get over my fears and love her well. I was ready to enter in. We tried to schedule this playdate several times, but her doctor visits, therapies and tests were so frequent that we never actually connected before the busy summer when her tumor became menacing again. She never recovered and I never experienced the full expanse of her glow as many of my friends have. I certainly regret being timid and closed off because I realize that I've missed out on the gift of knowing her more intimately in this life.

While I consider that a great loss, Sydney gave me one precious gift. The transparency of her love for God during the time I've known her, and especially during her battle with Cancer, leaves me without a doubt that Heaven is real and she is there, brilliant and perfect and smiling, free from the pain of this world's sluggish, broken body, walking with Jesus and holding my dear friends' scrappy baby. This tangible picture of Heaven has lingered in my mind the last few days and surely will be a lasting and accepted truth for me. I haven't lost a loved one before or had a miscarriage, so Heaven has just been a great place where God and Jesus live with a bunch of people I don't really know. Now it's personal.

I pray for peace for Sydney's husband, kids, family and friends this week as they say their final goodbyes and lay her to rest, and in the coming months and years as they feel her absence. I thank God that Sydney no longer suffers and that her wake on this surface spreads far and wide reaching so many, including me.

first day, first grade

2011-08-25T04:54:00.000-07:00

Little Colin hopped on the bus to 1st grade this morning. He couldn't have been happier, which makes me happy! Since I failed to get a picture of his first day of Kindergarten last year, (due to sickness and a dreadfully early pickup time) I was sure to get one this morning. After looking at other first day pictures of friends' kids on Facebook, I'm struck by how big all those other kids seem, or actually by just how small Colin is. I mean, that kid would certainly topple over if he had to carry that backpack himself! Good thing he has wonderful bus drivers and teachers to help him out! Have a great day buddy!

balance

2011-08-17T17:16:00.000-07:00

I have all 3 boys with me during the days this week, which is quite limiting compared to when I usually have just the younger two. It's not been a great week for me. Today I was at a park with some friends and the difficulty and sadness hit me hard after a few mishaps and the resulting chaos in my head. I barely kept myself from crying. I haven't felt limited or sad about Colin in a really long time, but I knew it was bound to cycle through again.

We survived.

God knew just how to lift me out of my pain. When we returned home, the two younger boys had to be hosed off due to one of the mishaps, and so I brought Colin inside first. Normally, I walk in the door, place him on his feet and let him go to walk a few steps on his own and then sit down. Today, I walked in the door, placed him on his feet, turned to hang up my bag, and heard his footsteps continue much longer than usual. I turn to look at him and he is across the playroom. I was excited by that, but then he turned to the right and headed into the hallway, where he then turned to the left and headed down the hallway. I tried to contain my excitement so I wouldn't distract him as I followed behind to see how far he would go. He didn't stop until he was at the very end of the hallway where he greeted Justin outside his office door! Those of you who have been in my house can imagine this route and understand my excitement. It was like I got a glimpse of what it will be like some day when he walks through the house instead of crawls. I cannot express to you the joy I felt in that moment and how it carried me through the rest of day. JOY. He was also pretty happy about it and even made a few near repeat performances tonight!

I'm so thankful for the balance that God provides for me in this life and also the very different kind of balance he is giving to Colin.

show-offs

2011-08-10T16:44:00.000-07:00

These are Luke's new pajamas (that he picked out for himself at the consignment store in the middle of summer.) This is the picture pose that he practiced in the mirror.

Justin told him that they were fancy, and that did it. He went on and on about it with such delight that I brought out the video camera to see if I could get a little interview out of him. He was very cooperative and to my surprise, all the boys were in a performing mood! Things to watch for in this video: Luke's innocent delight in how he looks, Colin trying to steal the show, Luke and Nate's lack of reaction to that because they are used to it, and Nate's confident mispronunciation of pretty much every word when he gets the spotlight.

Yes, Jesus loves these boys. And so do I.

metabolism

2011-08-01T15:42:00.000-07:00

The time has come. I should have known last year when in the same week, I turned 33 and gained 5 lbs. I never lost those 5 lbs, so this year when that same week rolled around again and I turned 34 and gained 3 lbs. despite my efforts to cut back (slightly) on my sweets, I knew I had to stop the trend. So, I am leaving behind my junkfood loving, inactive lifestyle in favor of exercising (at least 4 times a week), eating more balanced meals and yes, less sweets. I'm not willing to cut out sweets completely, so I'm just cutting way back.

I feel ok about this. I definitely feel motivated to put a cap on the size of my muffin top. Having been a little chunky in high school and pretty fat in college, I feel like I was able to appreciate and enjoy the past several years being thin without really working for it. I might even be grateful that I need to take care of myself again because I have only been working out for a week and I already feel stronger and more healthy. We'll see if the enjoyment lasts.

something to share:
Working out makes me more hungry for something substantial and I get tired of the same old recipes. So I tried this easy recipe tonight for Queso Chicken Pasta and really liked it! I used reduced fat ingredients, so I feel like it was decently healthy (for a dish like this) and it filled me up! And, I look forward to eating the leftovers!

if you start him up, he'll never stop.

2011-07-28T17:28:00.000-07:00

We take so many things for granted. I realize this over and over again with Colin as one of my sons. Wait 'til you see the joy he gets from simply walking a few steps in our living room. I promised video of this a while ago and I'm ready to deliver! (Warning: Colin looks a little like a baby giraffe learning to walk. He takes a fall at the end of each pass he does. He doesn't get hurt though and he always comes back for more. So Anne, watch and enjoy without being worried about him getting hurt.) We have been having "walking practice" every night at our house these days and it goes something like this.

Needless to say, we have been really enjoying watching Colin progress this way. We don't know what this means for his walking ability, balance or stamina in the future, but it sure gives us tangible hope!

pa/oh

2011-07-20T16:11:00.000-07:00

This has become a trip we do every summer around July 4th. We drive north to visit both families, Justin's in PA and mine in OH. It's a long drive and we definitely felt it this year.
Then I was in OH again this past weekend for a bachelorette party at OU where I went to school. It was only a 6 hour drive this time, but having these trips so close together has me glad to be staying put in Charlotte for a while now. I'm also glad to report that I left the weekend at OU alive and not regretting any of my behavior (something new for me!)

I should have done this post much sooner because sharing these pictures now seems so belated, but we got some good ones of the kids, so here you go:
ERIE, PA:
A family friend made these adorable capes for several of the kids she knows and I thought it was so sweet of her to include our boys:

It's the first time ALL the cousins have been together on this side of the family so we tried to get a picture of them in age order (Mike 12, Colin 6, Luke 4, Jack 3, Nate 2 and Drew 1)...but you know how that goes...

so we tried to give some of them food to keep them happy...

and that's the best we got!
some other candids:

and some family pics:
Justin, his sister and brother

Justin and our kids (minus Colin) and his sister and her kids sitting on an old school firetruck.

And our family pic of the summer. If you dare, click on this picture (or the one above) to enlarge it and check out Luke's shirt. (Warning: graphic content may not be suitable for young children.)

We made the tie dye shirts the day before. I placed the rubber bands and the kids did the dying. When I opened Luke's shirt to find the pattern that was there, I about died! He's such a sensitive kid so I had to be careful not to react, but I did discreetly make sure everyone else saw it because it was too funny to keep to myself! I don't think I'll let him wear the shirt anymore, but I will definitely be putting it in his memory box to show him when he's older and might enjoy the humor!

FINDLAY, OH:

Well, I didn't take very many pictures in Finday this year, because of fewer organized activities and more family hang out time, but my sister's boyfriend Jamie came along for the first time and he (a professional photographer) did take one of me and my sister during a skeet shooting family outing that might just be the only one we need...

Don't mess with us.

and it was beautiful

2011-07-11T16:48:00.000-07:00

As a little girl, I took more notice of beauty in nature. I would stare at shapes in the clouds or smell the wet earth or even taste the rain. Life is so busy these days that I never do those things anymore. Yesterday, on our drive home from Ohio, God shouted, "Hey Kim, look at this!" And I did. And it was beautiful.

The long drive south through 4 states went from brutal to beautiful, just like that.

the flattest Ohio earth, covered with rows of corn not quite ready to be picked, sprinkled with violet wildflowers, old barns and grazing horses.
gradually the earth rolled to gentle hills showcasing the geometrical segregation of farm land. the wheat had just been harvested and perfect rolls of hay were scattered in the field.
the most pleasing color palette was through the mountain landscape of Virginia. vast, dense forest growing on the mountainside, lush green in color, serving as a backdrop to the gold and white of the brown eyed susan and queen anne's lace wildflowers, butter yellow of the wheat fields, and the clearest blue sky filled with clouds of the brightest white and all shades of gray. the sun danced behind the clouds, casting scattered shadows on the green mountainside and allowing me to see the silver lining and beaming rays.

as those clouds hung above my head, i took so much joy from simply gazing out at the different layers, separating, moving in contrast, some whispy like torn cotton and some like mounds of sweet Cool Whip plopped down in the middle of the sky. I took it all in and remembered a carefree childhood. And it was beautiful.

sneak peak: chairs

2011-06-30T18:05:00.000-07:00

My friend Elisabeth did a blog post a while ago that made me think. I thought, I'd really like new chairs in my living room to add to the seating options when we have friends over. I also thought, that's not in the budget, but maybe I could take a lesson from Elisabeth and re-do chairs on my own! Another friend Rhonda is a big yard-saler, so I mentioned to her what I was looking for and made an effort to be patient. Well, I got a call on Saturday morning, 2 chairs, kind of what I'm looking for, $10 each. Yay! I headed over and checked them out. While I was checking them out, the lady walks up and says, "If you really want 'em, I'll give 'em to ya for 5 a piece." What? $5 each? I'll take 'em! They were covered in a sticky blue vinyl, but they had good bones.

I spent Saturday taking off the nasty vinyl and had several blisters and injuries to show for it. It was tough work! Monday night I went to Mary Jo's Cloth Store in Gastonia to get samples. Tuesday I sanded and re-stained the wood and in the afternoon, took all 3 kids with me back to Mary Jo's to buy the fabric. This was not my best idea because I didn't have a wheel chair or stroller for Colin and when he decides he doesn't want to walk, he just doesn't. We made it though with only a few incidents and once I had them all strapped back in the car for the ride home, I knew it was worth it. For the past couple of days I've been working to get the chairs covered in cotton batting and then with the fabric I picked out. I've been known to take on a little too much from time to time and I'll admit this is one of them. We are leaving to go up North to visit family and I won't be able to get the chairs finished before we leave like I wanted. But, I did get one chair almost done...enough that I can give you a sneak peak:

I love this fabric and the color matches my living room lamps that I love.

Let's hope I have enough motivation to finish the pair when we get back from PA/OH! If I don't, here's the partial product:

summer flashback

2011-06-21T10:22:00.000-07:00

I love that I grew up in the 80's. I remember spending my summer days at the pool getting tan and blond without worrying about the damage it would do later. I remember the cool, quiet water surrounding me as I floated weightlessly or the way it flowed through my long hair when I pretended to be a mermaid. I remember only getting out of the water to go off the diving board or because it was break when I would lay on my towel over the hot pavement eating candy from the snack bar. I remember the music playing on the loud speakers, oh the music.

I meant for this to be a post about my kids at the pool this summer, but my nostalgia got the best of me. I wanted to look up artists of a couple of songs that scream "childhood summer at the pool" to me, but ended up on a complete tangent of reminiscence that I thought some fellow 80's kids might enjoy too! Check out this list...can you hear the music? Can you see the video?

careless whisper - wham! (and wake me up before you go go)
I want to know what love is - foreigner
broken wings - Mr. Mister (I think of broken-hearted ricky shroeder from silver spoons)
we built this city - starship (totally remember the video of this one)
don't you forget about me - simple minds
can't fight this feeling - reo speedwagon
take on me - a-ha (totally remember this video too)
shout - tears for fears
heaven - brian adams
you're the inspiration - chicago
we belong - pat benatar
never surrender - corey hart
here i go again - whitesnake (remember this video? girl on the car? how inappropriate.)
rock me (amadeus) - falco
pour some sugar on me - def leppard (had this tape.)
glory of love - peter cetara
angel - aerosmith (I remember a boy serenading my friend with this song - I won't mention names.)
walk like an egyptian - the bangles
greatest love of all - whitney houston

This is the first summer we have had a membership to our neighborhood pool because the kids are at manageable ages now. I have seriously loved it and love the reminders of my childhood. Some things are quite different now, but I'm still enjoying the heat of the sun, the cool of the water and the music playing on the loud speakers. I also can't help but wonder what my kids will remember of their summers in the sun as I watch them loving the pool.

I'm sure everyone was on the edge of their seats wondering if I'd be able to get the picture rotation fixed. Woohoo! Fixed.

fiesta

2011-06-20T07:57:00.000-07:00

We had our combination birthday party last Thursday for Colin (6), Luke (4 1/2) and Nate (2 1/2). We went to Plaza Fiesta for some big time fun! It was probably the least amount of planning I've ever done for a party. I just called to set it up, sent invites and made cupcakes. We kept the number of kids pretty small this year to keep costs down, but I think it actually turned out perfectly. I was having so much fun I almost forgot to take pictures and video! Here's a little video collection of our favorite part of the playground (and a tad bit of the ride home after) and a few pictures from cupcake time. Those of you who are regular readers of this blog will recognize Jack and Ellen (who were both greatly helpful with Colin!):

I didn't get any pictures of the arcade portion of the party, but I'm sure you can imagine that craziness. I think we all had a great time, which is really the point of a birthday party!
I'm not sure we'll end up doing this again next year. Luke never complained, but did seem a little confused about the idea of celebrating his half birthday differently than his actual birthday. So I'll give him the choice this year when his actual birthday rolls around. We'll see!

treasure hunt

2011-06-16T07:12:00.000-07:00

It all started because I had a headache the night before. We were having friends over for a playdate and I wanted to do a fun activity with the kids so that afterwards, I could just sit and talk to my friend and not feel guilty about it! Here are the treasure hunters ready to get started:

I made 6 simple clue cards that led to 6 simple puzzle pieces that fit together to give the final clue and show where the treasure was hidden (inside a laundry basket under some sheets!) It probably only took me 15 minutes to make.

The treasure was Ring Pops and Trader Joes lollipops, but I wrapped it in tissue paper and a shiny red box and they thought it was awesome! The treasure went so fast, I only got a picture of the evidence:

And then they played happily on their own and I got to sit and talk to my friend (for a little while at least)!

what a week.

2011-06-12T17:29:00.000-07:00

Ailments all around!
Last Sunday, Colin had a strange 12 hour stomach flu. Tuesday and Wednesday, Luke had some sort of illness with a high fever, fatigue, and strange dreams/delusions from the fever. I went in Tuesday night to give him more medicine and he said, "Ok, I'll drink this and then I'm going to win the trophy." I asked what the trophy would be for and he said, "for sleeping with my eyes closed." Thursday night, a little after 9, Nate fell while playing "Hole in the Wall" with Luke in their bedroom and when I went in to check on the situation, I found this, only with much more blood!

Nate and I spent some nice time together at Urgent Care that night until 11:00 to get it treated with dermabond (skin glue) in lieu of stitches because I didn't want to take him to the emergency room! He's a boy, so I figure he can get away with a scar on his forehead. He might need to look a little extra tough anyway because he's such a little shrimp! But he's a cute little shrimp!

And funny. Today we let him stay in the older class that we taught at children's church and he had all the kids (and Justin and me) cracking up! He also is Colin's personal entertainment. He's always cracking up if Nate's in the room. He's talking a lot more these days too, but he's pretty hard to understand if you're not used to his language. For example, "da-der" can be doctor, thunder, or sucker. "Belbow" is either Elmo or elbow. "Babu-di" is pretzel stick. "Day-do" is thank you. Lots of extra d's and b's flying around this house! It's becoming very tiresome to figure out what he's saying all the time!

Colin's last day of kindergarten was Friday! That went fast! I was so pleased with his year at Beverly Woods, with what he learned, the relationships he formed, the special programs he was able to participate in. I'm grateful that school has been a good experience for him and that my fear of him being excluded because of his limitations and disabilities was absolutely shattered. Not only was he included, but he was known and liked. When I would visit, so many kids would be excited to see him in the hallway and greet him by name. What a warm feeling. I truly appreciate compassionate kids, especially Jack - no secret there!
I did the same flowers idea I did for Luke and Nate's teachers:

and in addition, I was having a craving for chocolate covered pretzel sticks, so I made these yummy treats for teachers and bus drivers, some with white chocolate, some with milk chocolate, some with chopped choc. toffee candy and some with cranberries and pistachios. Yum, so easy and they looked fancy!

Overheard this week:
Luke telling Nate rules for his Waldo book:
L: The first rule is, I'll be mad.
     The second rule is don't take this book from me.
     The third rule is don't let your brother rip this book.
     The fourth rule, and this is the last rule, don't let anyone drool on this book. Ok?
N: ok.

That was an eventful week, which means that my house is dirty. Not much chance of that changing this week either! I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles. If you don't believe me, come see for yourself. There are cookie crumbles all over my kitchen floor!

why i don't like dogs.

2011-06-11T18:56:00.000-07:00

Did you know I have a brother? Yeah, he's a dog.
I got this email from my mom tonight and had to share:

I've been home a little over 3 weeks and Cooper has aged me by 10 years!

A couple of weeks ago he would not come in the house. Eventually he came running in when I opened the door and he ran out of sight like lightning. I went throughout the house looking for him and found him. I had my bedspread folded in quarters at the end of the bed. He was standing by it in a 'guard' position and beside him on my bedspread was a dead rabbit! I lunged towards him, he grabs the rabbit and won't let go. I grab Cooper running to the stairs trying to get him to let go...and it did. It rolled down the stairs dripping blood on each step! Not only did I have to clean the blood on each step but my bedspread was soaked with blood through all four layers. Cooper was put in his cage without supper and I didn't speak to him for 2 days. Needless to say, Tom was not home.

Today we were in the back yard and I went in the house to take a phone call and grab a snack. (Still love my carbs) When I went back out, Cooper was nowhere to be seen. He has been known to dig his way under the fence to run around terrorizing the neighbors. I could not find anywhere around the fence that he could have escaped but could only assume that is what happened. Several neighbors, two hours and 4 'lost dog posters' later....I opened the back door and in he comes completely covered in dirt, vegetation and goodness knows what other muck was on him. He runs to the beige couch, proceeds to rub himself over it repeatedly, runs to his water bowl and drinks the whole bowl, then runs back to the door and wants out. (All this before I can grab him). He was obviously wanting to get back to what he was doing before, so I let him out intending to 'follow him' to find out where he escaped. Well, he dug himself into the hollow of a tree (that possums, etc hide out during the day in) trying to prey on whatever he might find in his personal 'tree house'. Mystery solved. I stuffed the bottom of the tree with styrafoam and a brick until his daddy gets home and comes up with a more permanent solution. (He's pulled this trick before, and we had it barricaded, however, he found a way to break through the barricade unbeknownst to me). He has to go to the groomers to get alot of 'stuff' cut out of his hair as I can't wash or comb it out!

I can't wait until Tom gets home so he can deal with this 'puppy' attitude even though he is 7 years old on July 4th.

Never a dull moment with Cooper around!

Peace,

Pam

By the way, this is what Cooper looks like, the little squirrel (and rabbit) hunting terror:

beach recap

2011-06-05T17:45:00.000-07:00

This is the first time we have taken all 3 kids to the beach, Nate's very first trip and probably the first time Luke and Colin will remember. I think it ended up being just about as exhausting as a typical week at home (if not more), just with different scenery. We had a great set up, not even a block away from the ocean and could see it from the balcony of the home we stayed in. Most mornings I could find Justin, Luke and Nate just sitting out there watching the waves. We visited the beach several times for evening walks and daytime play. It was the first time in years that Justin and I actually swam in the ocean. It felt like freedom. Luke loved jumping the waves, Colin loved walking into them, and Nate didn't want to have anything to do with them after our first visit there. You'll see why:

Aside from the beach, we went to Ripley's Aquarium to see all kinds of ocean life including huge sharks and stingrays. The boys got to touch the stingrays and horseshoe crabs and view all kinds of other beautiful fish and coral.

We sat in the front row of the red knight's section at Medieval Times. Colin was the only one who didn't like it there (the loud trumpets scared him) and I thought he would love it because of all the colors, lights and horses in the show. Nate's favorite part was eating the food with his hands and Luke liked cheering for the red knight. He even caught one of flowers thrown out to the crowd. It was pretty cool.

Justin and I got a babysitter recommendation from a friend who used to live there so we could go out on a date one night! We ate on the deck of a restaurant with a beautiful view out over Murrells Inlet just before sunset. Then we went onto the beach and later got some ice cream. My favorite flavor was cotton candy. I think I had it 3 times that week. Yum!

We visited a park just a few blocks from where we stayed that is handicap accessible. It's called "All Children's Park". Why don't they have one of those in Charlotte???

There were so many pictures from this trip that I decided to do a slideshow instead of posting too many or leaving out good ones, so here are the pictures from our beach trip this year!

sweet birthday for a sweet boy

2011-05-30T08:56:00.000-07:00

Colin is 6! We will be having a big party with all 3 boys this summer, but for the actual day we had some special friends over for dinner, play time and of course, cupcakes! If you've been reading this blog, you'll recognize Jack from previous posts. We had him, his brother, 2 sisters, mom and dad over last night to help us celebrate. We really enjoyed our time with this family. I continue to be struck by Jack's genuine friendship with Colin. He wanted to play with Colin the whole night when he could have more easily played with all of the other kids who could run around and participate in a way Colin isn't capable. I mean, what a truly incredible kid! I've said it before, but I'm so grateful for him.

The moment all the kids were waiting for:

Colin doesn't really love toys. He has a few things he really likes and we have enough of those. His entertainment these days comes mostly from following Nate around to see what he'll do next: throw a ball in the air, pretend to vacuum, run around in circles, you name it and Colin thinks it's funny if Nate's doing it. So for his birthday this year, we decided to get him something practical. We got him a 4 button, 12 level communication device. Fancy! Special needs equipment is SO over priced so I thought I'd take the opportunity of a birthday to get this. He uses one at school to answer questions and right now we're using the new one at home to give him a choice at meals and a chance to tell us when he is all done. We'll use it for other things as we get used to it. (Basically how it works: we record a short message on each button to match the picture, so options are easily changed.)

Here is a little video of the boys having some fun with it when Colin was done eating the other day:

spread the word to end the word

2011-05-27T17:08:00.000-07:00

We are back from our week at the beach! I will be posting about that later when I have more time.
For now, I wanted to share something that I saw and love. It couldn't be closer to my heart.

Ever since having Colin, hearing the R-word used in a casual, joking manner makes me cringe with sickness. I hope that if you find yourself reading this, you will consider the painful impact of the word used in an inappropriate context.
And don't forget to spread the word to end the word!
To learn more and pledge your support to eliminate the demeaning use of the R-word, visit www.r-word.org

another one bites the dust

2011-05-20T06:34:00.000-07:00

are you ready, are you ready for this
are you hanging on the edge of your seat

and another one gone
and another one gone

Luke has strep and scarlet fever.

And the suspense builds, will this family beach trip be as bad as the last one? It would be tough to top, but we shall see...

good grief

2011-05-16T14:09:00.000-07:00

I could have done without this:
Saturday night we woke to the sound of Colin gasping for air and coughing terribly. I went in to check it out and then had Justin come in for a consult. Yes, he was definitely having a hard time breathing and we were concerned. We decided to get the nebulizer out to give him a breathing treatment which has helped in less severe cases like this before, after he was hospitalized with RSV. But while we were messing around with that, he seemed to get worse and Justin called 911. I began crying because all I could think of is that they wouldn't get here fast enough and I would have to hold him as he died from not enough oxygen. He struggled more and I cried harder and began shaking and could feel the adrenaline racing through my body. I felt like I was going to throw up. I had to call Justin in to hold Colin while I took over the 911 call (which mostly consisted of me crying like a hysterical mother). I think my own fear scared Colin because he seemed to improve slightly with Justin. The fire dept. arrived first. Did you know they are medics too? It was so odd to have 4 large men in our living room at 4 in the morning, but they brought some relief. They assessed the situation until the ambulance arrived shortly after. They took him out to be transported to the hospital. Clearly Justin would be following as I was still trying to get myself together. After they left, I looked up croup on the internet because the medics said that was the likely diagnosis. I began to calm down as I read about it and then called to share the info with Justin because I knew he was scared too. Apparently on the ride to the hospital, Colin coughed up mucus that was blocking his swollen airway and could breath easier after that. They gave him a steroid drink at the hospital and Justin brought him back home around 8am.
Some great facts we learned if this should happen again (or to anyone reading this!):

Croup is a virus that usually comes on suddenly in the middle of the night and is more severe in very young children because their airways are smaller to begin with. (In older children and adults, it might not differ symptomatically from a typical virus.) In young children, it is characterized by a barking cough and stridor, a high pitched whistle sound from the labored intake of breath.

In severe cases, a child may have trouble breathing as a symptom. If this happens, you can take them outside to breath in cool air, or if the weather is warm, put their head in the freezer to give them a blast of cold air. A humidifier helps too. If a child is agitated or upset, symptoms can worsen (oops), so try to keep them calm.

Colin is a special kid, so he reacts strangely to illness sometimes. I just felt like this was a good opportunity to share what I learned just in case!

Sunday ended up being a day of recovery. We were grateful to be able to lay low. Justin and I took turns resting and managing the kids as the emotional stress of the night before hit us. Colin also needed some extra rest which he took on the kitchen floor at one point. He's actually asleep like this.

Today I have a tension headache as further reminder of the anxiety I had. Thankfully, Colin is doing better though and actually seems bothered with me for not letting him go to school today.

Today. Our dryer is not heating, so I attempted to fix it myself using information from the internet and my handy skills. After taking apart the entire back section, I realized I can't actually get to the part I need without removing the drum. Yeah, right. I'm not that handy. So I'm frustrated and we had to call a service person anyway. After the ambulance ride and hospital visit, I was really hoping to not have to spend money on this stupid dryer too, especially not after I'd spent an hour of quiet time doing this:

My saving grace today in all of this was my friend Jen. She took my wet load of clothes to dry at her house and hearing the crumbling of sanity in my voice on the phone, offered to take Nate off my hands this morning AND run a few errands for me! Thanks to Jen, I haven't completely lost my mind today! Not completely.

happy mother's day?

2011-05-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

Mother's day weekend for me this year was the best I've ever had, right up to the moment when something got stuck in my shoe as I was leaving church today. I shook it a little, but realized it was a bigger problem when I took another step down and it hurt badly. One more step and I had to sit Colin down to check out the problem. When I tried to pull my shoe off, my foot was literally nailed into it. I had to pry it off. I was horrified to see the rust on the large roofing nail and the hole it made in the bottom of my foot. I had stepped on it and it pushed right through the bottom of my shoe and into my foot. Nothing a little trip to Urgent Care and a tetanus shot couldn't fix!
The good news is that my weekend had already been so filled with love from my boys and Justin that it didn't ruin the day at all.
1 Peter 4:8 says "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
I say after today, love covers not just sins, but also pain from rusty nails in feet and tetanus shots.
I mean, look. What a blessed mother I am.

I hope Mother's Day was beautiful for all of you too.

what do you think?

2011-05-07T13:59:00.000-07:00

I'm trying out a new look...for the blog. My personal look is the same old story.
Let me know what you think if you have an opinion!
(And feel free to leave a comment directly on the blog, I get an email notification if you do.)
thanks,
kim

luke bender

2011-05-02T17:19:00.000-07:00

Luke is definitely our thinker. Sometimes I have to remind myself that he is only 4. We've been having a quite deep dialogue going on lately and I wanted to share.
This started Easter weekend:
Luke: Did you know that Jesus was in our world, but then he died, but he's going to come back to our world. Do you know when he is coming back here? Is it Sunday? or Monday?
Me: I don't know, only God knows when.
Luke: Well I want to know when.
Me: Well, you can ask God, but I don't think he'll tell you.
Luke: ok, I'll ask him when I pray at bedtime.
Me: you know, you can pray anytime.
Luke: That's right because God can always hear me.
Me: yep.
Luke: ok, I'll pray right now. Dear Lord, Jesus I hope you will come back to my world. Amen.

About a week later:
Luke: Mommy, why is this world bad?
Me: The people in this world make bad choices so that is what makes it bad. It won't be all good until we are in heaven.
Luke: what's heaven?
Me: A place people go when they die to be with Jesus.
Luke: But Jesus is coming to our world.
Me: Yes, someday to take us to heaven.
Luke: Well I want to go to heaven. I don't want to live in this bad world.
Me: Well, once you leave this world you can't come back, so I'm not ready for you to go to heaven just yet.
Luke: Well I just want Jesus to come back now then.
Me: Maybe he will, but until then we should just try to enjoy this world and make good choices. ( I love the opportunity to throw in a behavior lesson that is backed up by Jesus...we've been working on making good choices.)

A few days later:
Me: Luke, why do you keep making so many bad choices? (after a particularly rough morning)
Luke: I guess it's just because Jesus isn't here yet.

Well, I guess I can't argue with that.
I might be in trouble with him in the teenage years!

steeple chase

2011-05-01T11:58:00.000-07:00

The Queens Cup Steeple Chase. This is a southern thing that I have never experienced in the 12 years that I've lived here until yesterday! Very southern preppy with sear sucker suits and fancy hats, bag pipe parades, 20's style music and a British announcer cracking jokes on the huge speakers. It seemed like a different time.

I actually wore a big hat, one of the more understated ones that I saw.

When the trumpets sounded at the start of each race, Justin and I went down to watch the horses race around the grass track. I chose zero winners and Justin correctly called almost every race, but it was just fun to take a step outside of our ordinary lives for a nice day together.

We were there for a work event for Justin so we were able to take a break from the hot sun in a catered tent.

And even ladies and gentlemen need a place to properly take care of business (a tent lined with port-a-potties).

The horses in the races are amazing, beautiful creatures with names like Well Fashioned, It's a G Man, Great Halo, Golden Slammer, Tizsilk, Wild for Gold, and Tizallaboutme. Pictured below are Westbound Road (2) and Big Bad Joe (5).

And very entertaining, even if they were disqualified for unseating the jockey. These two unseated their riders early on in the longest race and continued to run the entire race, even making a few of the jumps on their own. The crowd seemed to cheer even more loudly for them than they did for the horses still in the race. We admired their tenacity.

I'm so glad I got to experience this and hope we'll go again next year!

And I must add, didn't Justin do an incredible job writing the last post? Loved it. I think he'll be invited back.

joy

2011-04-26T19:10:00.000-07:00

"Let me win...
But if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt."
-the Special Olympics Athlete Oath

Originally, Justin created this blog. However, once I decided I liked it, I just took over. For this post though, I'm inviting him back as a guest author because I think he experienced more sweetness from this day than I did. (I loved seeing Colin perform with his buddy Jack, but something about seeing the older kids with disabilities made me sad because it triggered a foresight of Colin as an older kid with disabilities and I'm just not ready for that yet. Ok, that was honest, but that's enough of that from me.)

Here is the beautiful version of today shared from our guest writer, father of 3, husband of mine, Justin:

Wow, a guest spot on the blog. I'm both honored and horrified. I've heard Kim's racked up quite a following. Here goes . . .

So, my wise counselor, Pete, at the Barnabas Center has told me I need to start experiencing emotions again. Let me tell you a little about what joy looks like to me:

-2000 local athletes parading around the arena for the 2011 Special Olympics, heads held high as the arena rocked with applause.

-25 of those athletes standing next to me smiling, clapping and cheering louder than anyone else for their "competition" as they paraded by.

-200 of the younger kids concentrating deeply as they nailed the steps to a choreographed African dance routine that they learned with Allegro.

-My beautiful son, Colin, being one of them, right in the front row, without any help from a stroller or walker.

-His 4th grade buddy, Jack, helping him hit his moves with equal focus and concentration.

-The look of pride on both of their faces as everyone gave them a standing O.

-The care and precision of the torch bearer, a storied local Special Olympian who's medaled numerous times at the state level in bicycling, as he carefully walked around the arena and up to the cauldron, just months after he was struck by a car while cycling and told he may never walk again. He's currently on the comeback trail.

-The final celebration as DJ Mike spun today's top hits and the athletes danced without inhibition as if no one was watching, only everyone was watching and it was beautiful.

-The smiles on Colin and Nate's faces as they joined in.

-The look on Colin's face as he crawled up to me when I returned from work at the end of the day. It was a look of pride and accomplishment. He refused to take a nap this afternoon in order to greet me with that look.

Praise Jesus for these kids.

Praise Jesus for Colin.

Praise Jesus for joy.

Here are some memories from the event:

sweet morning surprise.

2011-04-25T06:07:00.000-07:00

Colin is attending the Special Olympics opening ceremony tomorrow to perform with his Allegro group. I went to the Allegro Foundation website to see if I could find the specific time of the performance and surprisingly found this great volunteer highlight of Jack, who I've posted about before here. What a great treat for me this morning, so I thought I'd share.
Find him (and Colin) in the slideshow here (or by clicking on the picture above), then click on the picture on the Allegro site to read more, including the letter he sent in with his birthday donation.
I'm sure I'll have pictures/video of the performance tomorrow of Colin and Jack, so be looking for that!

happy easter!

2011-04-24T12:25:00.000-07:00

This is the best picture I could get of the boys before church this morning, but I'd say it's not too bad, considering this is how it started...

After church we had some friends (who also have 3 boys) over for a casual potluck lunch (eggs, bacon, biscuits and fruit) and a backyard egg hunt. Just keeping it simple after our yard sale yesterday!

The boys made some shrink art (like Shrinky Dinks) while waiting for the food and here they are eagerly watching it shrink in the oven!

The best pic we could get of all 6 boys after the egg hunt. They were so much more interested in eating their loot.

And a family pic, the first one since the fall!

Happy Easter!

easter treats

2011-04-17T12:36:00.000-07:00

Let the resurrection joy
lift us from loneliness and weakness and despair
to strength and beauty and happiness.
-Floyd W. Tomkins

I've been hopeful and happy this spring, so I wanted to make some Easter treats to share with teachers and friends. Turns out I was able to share less than I planned because we have eaten a lot of it up ourselves! How often do I get to make treats with girlie pastel colors and pretty bows as a mom of 3 boys? Not very often, so I took pictures.

The first project was to make these Easter Bunny S'mores in a jar (I measured and added the ingredients and included the baking directions on top.) I think I just liked the idea of doing something with Mason jars. I found the idea online and just made a few adjustments when putting them together. It took all the self-control Luke had not to just smash the jar on the floor and shovel the contents into his mouth.

And I had to make my mom's Christmas cookies. They have turned into an any occasion cookie because I LOVE them so much!
I make and roll out the dough and cut the shapes to bake.

Decorate with colored frosting, seasonal jellybeans and m&m's. I didn't like the jelly beans as much as I thought I would. m&m's were good though.

Pack 'em up to put in the fridge so they stay fresh. They're good in the freezer too but I knew they wouldn't last long this time.

Packed in bundles for teachers and bus drivers.

And now I'm exhausted. I completed all but the frosting and packaging before my week hit a real rough patch, so I'm grateful that I planned ahead and that I had some yummy cookies to comfort me :)

oh man, amen

2011-04-11T10:41:00.000-07:00

God, our father
God, our father,
once again,
once again,
thank you for our blessings,
thank you for our blessings,
Amen,
Amen.

Nate's "Amen" sounds a lot like his "oh, man" when he misses a basketball shot. Also listen here for his classic "Nnnnnnno" (Luke does this too.):

adding a little color.

2011-04-06T09:34:00.000-07:00

Look what I did!
I took this:

and turned it into this:

I've hit an artistic phase and am planning to paint a large wall piece too. If it turns out well, I'll share. If I never complete it because life is like that, well then I guess you won't ever see it. Have a bright day!

one of those march days

2011-03-26T08:04:00.000-07:00

It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade. ~Charles Dickens

We've really enjoyed the beginning of spring around here, using our screened porch, drawing with chalk outside, getting back to the old favorite parks and exploring new ones (even if that means being attacked by geese!), picking "flowers" out of the wide weed variety springing up in our yard, playing sports and eating picnic lunches outside, wearing short sleeves, looking forward to a summer at the pool, and just smelling the fresh spring breeze and the hope it brings. Here are a few pics from the season so far...

Luke showing me one of many "flowers" that he has picked for me. So beautiful.

Nate showing me the art he made with sidewalk chalk.

Luke started Soccer Shots - his first organized sport activity. It's adorable to watch ten 4 & 5 year olds trying to learn the tricks and rules of the game. The parents on the sideline have definitely enjoyed a few loving laughs. Here's Luke with his very own soccer ball and outfit (which he'll certainly be wearing to every. single. practice.)

and showing off the "pull back move" that he learned.

Colin taking a break to enjoy the breeze while challenging himself by climbing the big hill by the soccer field.

Nate trying to join in the role call as if wishing he were one of the big kids would be enough. Coach Jacob was very tolerant as he has a 2 year old of his own.

Luke doing some dribble action with his buddy Coleman behind him in the blue shirt.

This is Colin and his hippotherapy buddy Chad, sharing time on the practice horse. We love Chad who has his session right before Colin each week. He is the sweetest kid so I love having this picture with the both of them.

Goggles are always funny on little boys.

Nate is talking a lot more these days, finally. Not always 100% sure what he's saying, but I can catch most of it. The first actual conversation I had with him went like this: he was looking in Colin's room one morning (after he was already at school) and saying, "Dawin, way a you?" I came up to tell him that Colin was at school and he said, "oh, Dawin a coo, ok." I love it.

He and Luke play hide and seek a lot. When Nate finds Luke, he says, "da doo!" (found you). It's so funny. Sometimes I'll say "da doo" to him and he laughs and says, "no" as if I'm just being silly because he believes that he is actually saying "found you".

He also is beginning to ask "why?" which I really didn't think started this early. But it's always that he wants something, I say no, he asks "why?", I give a reason and he either says, "oh" and walks away or whines. I could do without the whining for sure.

One last Nate tale. He's had horrible allergies this spring. A few days ago I was changing him and he was laying there gargling his drainage to the tune of the ABC song, or Twinkle Twinkle Little Star...it was hard to tell. He was definitely pleased with himself for it though and while I found it gross, I could also appreciate his positive attitude.

Now for a few Luke stories:
The boys make their beds now in the morning. While making his bed one morning he sat a stuffed bear and bunny next to each other and told me that "they go together because they are both fat". ok.

Nate came in from the porch where he was playing with Luke, holding his head and crying. When I asked Luke what happened, he said, "Nate wouldn't let me win, so I just pulled out a couple hairs."

Luke was playing the sword duel on Wii one night. He was about to get knocked off the edge of the platform and I said, "uh oh". Luke responded while still playing by saying, "Mommy, you don't have to say that. You can just worry about yourself." He went on to win the game. I guess he was right.

hippotherapy session.

2011-03-12T12:27:00.000-08:00

Thought I'd step you through a typical hippotherapy session since I was able to take pictures and video throughout the last one. (Leading the horse is Lynn, with Harvey on one side and as always, his wonderful OT Ellen on the other side in the pink shirt.)
First, Colin waits on top of the ramp for Oreo to arrive...

and when he does Colin is totally excited.

After mounting, he rides forward facing (now able to relax his arms on his lap compared to holding them bent and tight when he first started).

Here is a video to show his relaxed arms and also his signal to Oreo to "go". It's very subtle, but when Oreo stops, Colin reaches up to touch him. He's become very consistent with it just recently.

Colin also rides backwards,

reaches for rings,

rides with an adjusted side-sit (here you can see him reaching out to tell Oreo to "go" again),

and even rides on his belly.

When he's done, he leans forward to give Oreo a hug,

then comes around to thank him face to face.

At this particular session, Colin decided that he wanted to help lead Oreo back. It was the first time he's done this and it was pretty exciting.

Here's a little video of Colin leading Oreo and then saying goodbye to him. Notice how patient Oreo is with him :) I love that horse.

And that's it for Colin and Oreo until next week when they'll do it all again!

i'm no longer laughing.

2011-03-11T13:59:00.000-08:00

It's a good thing Nate is cute because I pretty much lost my cool yesterday when I saw him standing over this mirror shattered all over the playroom floor, holding up the Swiffer mop that he used to knock it off the mantle. It's also a good thing that I'm not superstitious, right?.

I'm sure I'll find time to get a replacement mirror for this frame I love some time in the next 7 years, no one was hurt and today I won a 60 minute facial from $10 spent on raffle tickets for a Tot Time fundraiser. I'll take it!

i had to laugh.

2011-02-24T06:29:00.000-08:00

What could cause the look on this face and line of drool?

Well, a bite out of Luke's soap boat, of course!
No punishment necessary, it happened an hour ago and Nate is still wandering around with his mouth hanging open, drool pouring down his chin and letting out an occasional cry of distaste.
(Don't worry, he didn't swallow the chunk. Some residue remained in his teeth even after brushing which explains the after effects!)
Luke wasn't too bothered by the missing piece because it gave him a story that he can tell his teachers when he goes back to school tomorrow!

gift.

2011-02-20T07:09:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, Colin and I attended a birthday party for his friend Jack from school. This is an extra special friend though. He is a typical 4th grade boy who has been paired up with Colin since the beginning of the year for participation in the Allegro program. He has been a sweet friend to Colin and has helped ease my fears about Colin's acceptance at a school where he is "different" than most of the kids. Not only was Colin invited to the sports themed party with 12 other older boys, but Jack also requested that instead of birthday gifts, his friends bring a donation to be made to the Allegro Foundation in Colin's name. Who is this incredible boy you ask? Here he is with Colin.

After some football in the back yard (thanks to the weather perfection we were given) Jack came over to take the above pictures with Colin and I was so impressed with how comfortable they were and loved how Colin smiled up at him, someone worthy of being looked up to. I was talking later with Jack's mom and teacher, who stopped by the party too, about how special the situation is to all of us. We were moved to tears right there during the party at the concept of Jack's compassion, Colin's acceptance and the teacher's impact all so simply and beautifully displayed that Saturday afternoon by two kids just being themselves.

I'm incredibly grateful for the ways Colin's story is unfolding. It gives me reason to have more hope and less fear for this life. I hope this is just the beginning of inspiring relationships along the way!

newsworthy

2011-02-06T07:46:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, Colin walked a 10 foot stretch completely on his own!!!!! I walked him into the living room, let go of his hand and watched as he continued walking, straight up, all on his own until he ran out of room and sat down in front of the rocking horse. Incredible! He has been taking a few steps without help recently, but not like this. We are so entirely thrilled at his progress over the past year, the last 9 months in particular.

When progress happens so slowly, it becomes such a surprise and delight to see actual milestones coming into view and even being reached. It doesn't matter any more that he doesn't meet them "on time", we're just ecstatic with the growth.

You may be wondering when we will be posting a video of this great progress and my answer is as soon as we are able to capture it on video. Colin also gets excited when he walks on his own and when we try to do it again, he just laughs and falls down. I'm sure we'll get it eventually and you better believe that when we do, we'll broadcast it proudly! Until then, here's a pic of Colin busting at the seams to run ahead of the rest of us:

In other fun news, Nate woke up from a nap like this the other day:

And this was overheard from the bathroom yesterday:

Luke: "Nate, don't. That's not respect. Respect is when you let all the other people flush."

Such a good teacher :)

Luke also taught Nate how to put on his own coat this week. Yay!

happy birthday justin?

2011-02-03T06:16:00.000-08:00

Well, it certainly wasn't his best birthday ever, but this was sweet...

and I'll be making his favorite cupcakes this weekend. We'll be sure to do better next year for #35 :)

dear God.

2011-01-18T09:35:00.000-08:00

I know that when I talked about the year ahead in my last post I said I didn't really have expectations, but I wasn't exactly wanting my family and me to be stricken with major sickness right off the bat. First the stomach flu hit everyone but Colin...and it hit hard. We were grateful that Colin was spared and that for the rest of us, our worst moments were staggered so that we could be of help to each other at least. Then a couple days later came the regular flu for all of us that is still hanging on with great perseverance. I personally have been with no voice or barely a voice for several days and this house is loud. Pretty frustrating. It's leaving me with little strength and the kids watching so much tv that I really am afraid their brains might rot. At this rate, I hope we'll be healthy enough by spring to be able to catch up by the end of the year on all the things that are inevitably falling between the cracks. Ahh!

I'm sure if I search not very hard at all, I will find a message in all this sickness that I need to take better care of myself and reprioritize. Lord, I seriously need Your help to get past whatever my aversion is to doing that. Clearly I'm not good at it on my own. And while I'm asking for things, I'd also like for You to help me keep my eyes on You and all that is truly important, rather than becoming so easily distracted. I'd also like You to help me trust You, it's been a few years since I started living with a fear of You and Your plan for my life and I'd really like to get back to resting in You in peace already. I also ask that You give me the opportunity to use the story you've given me to encourage others in community. After all, isn't that the best purpose for suffering?

Ok, I can see at this point that when I step outside of myself for a second I recognize that compared to the struggles of some, my life has been a party. That is not lost on me, but I am flawed as we all are. It's like I keep waiting for this time when things will run smoothly and I'm wise and helpful and valuable to have in the community and still have ample time and energy to be a great mom, wife, chef and house keeper. Instead my attempts leave me depleted and feeling guilty that I can't do more or better. I try to accept that I have 3 young boys and that gives me certain limitations at this stage in life, but the people pleasing achiever in me won't let it settle. I suppose what I need to do is resign myself to the fact that this isn't heaven. I will never be perfect in this world. And to hope with all that I am that there will be a day when I will experience all that I long for.

Hosea 2:14-15
But then I will win her back once again.
I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there.
I will return her vineyards to her and transform the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope.
She will give herself to me there, as she did long ago
when she was young,
when I freed her from her captivity in Egypt.

Amen.

the kind of peace I hope to find this year:

another end & another beginning

2011-01-01T13:43:00.000-08:00

2010 went by SO fast. The last couple of months in particular. I'm finding myself in a fog after our holiday season. I ran myself into the ground trying to prepare for the Christmas break so that I could relax and experience the joy of the season and enjoy time with family - only to spend most of that break and beyond with horrible headaches. ugh. So I'm relying on pictures (click on any to enlarge) to share what December was like for our family.

This is my first year as a room parent and I hope I made up for my lack of action earlier in the year during the month of December. We celebrated Colin's student teacher with a going away party in mid December as well as a holiday party before school let out for the break. Here is a picture of Colin (in the green shirt) with his class and wonderful teachers at the party for his student teacher (the one in the pink vest):

Nate started sleeping in a big boy bed! Papa John (Justin's dad) made the bed and brought it down here for us. He did an incredible job! We stained it and got it set up...and this is Nate taking his first big boy nap!

Luke and Nate took a sudden interest in Play-Doh and wearing winter hats all day long. The hat thing has calmed down, but they are still enjoying the Play-Doh so we've added to the small stash shown in this picture since then.

Luke celebrated his 4th birthday with a small celebration at school (singing and cupcakes) and then more singing and cupcakes after dinner with us that night. He also got to choose whatever he wanted for dinner. His choice: PB & jelly sandwich, cheese and an orange. I love his sweet, innocent contentment. He still doesn't seem to be bothered by no presents or big party on his actual birthday, so for now we'll continue the 1/2 birthday deal!

Grandma Pam, Grandpa Tom and Aunt Brooke came to visit for Christmas this year. Tom took Colin for a walk one day that had to be well over a mile, maybe close to 2. It was awesome!

Mom and Brooke were sure to balance that with plenty of couch time...here, they even roped Luke in to the lethargy. (Ok, I was just as guilty of some couch time, but it just wasn't captured in a picture.)

My mom wanted to give me a break by taking the boys to get their first "real" haircut. Luke was "too shy" when we got there, so I cut his hair when we got home. Nate enjoyed himself and looks pretty cute in this pic, but we agreed that I actually give a better haircut than he got this day so I fixed what I could when we got home. I guess I'll continue to be the stylist for the Bender boys for the foreseeable future.

Our pitiful Christmas tree, made even more pitiful by the ornaments all being moved to the top of the tree because little hands couldn't keep away.

Pillow Pets...a big hit this year with Luke, so Nate loves his too. Colin has the bee, but just cuddles up with it at night (which I don't have a picture of). They are SO soft!

Luke and Nate cuddle up with theirs at night too...and a better look at the bed Papa John built for Nate.

With an idea stolen from my very creative friend, Sarah, I decorated these wine bottles as a gift. I even chose wine names that were representative of each boy: Colin is "Happy Camper", Luke is "Silly Goose" and Nate is "Ironberry". Though they certainly aren't allowed to sample "their" bottle.

And this ragtag crew was undecided about posing with them.

Finally, after Christmas, we celebrated Nate's 2nd birthday with singing and a simple green cake. Really? My youngest is 2 already? On his birthday, he finally decided to try talking more. He repeated names: Nate is "Nay", Colin is "Cada" and Luke is "Lou" with the emphasis on the "L" all said at the volume of a boisterous yell. It's funny and so is he. What isn't quite as funny is that he also decided that two is too old to be wearing diapers. I've heard stories before of kids taking diapers off, but I have escaped the experience of it until now. I heard him walking around his room during nap time, so I peeked in to find him walking around pant-less and trying to wipe his own bottom. I knew I was in trouble when I smelled it. He had put the dirty diaper in the laundry hamper which is nice I guess, since I've heard stories of diaper messes being smeared on the walls and such. He continues to take his diaper off a few times a day, but so far the mess hasn't been disastrous. Let's hope there is no post about that in my future. For now, just the birthday cake scene...

And this was the scene out our front door this morning:

Like my brain, it was super foggy. Yet, this is the beginning of our 2011...mysterious. I don't really do resolutions, but this is the first time in a while that on January 1st, I've stepped back and thought about the upcoming year and wondered what it would bring me without desperately longing for something or hopelessly dreading something or nothing at all. It's also the first day in a while that I have felt content to know that whatever does come my way is from God and it will be good. I don't know what that means for the year ahead, but I'm comfortable with my starting point. I can appreciate a good mystery.

merry christmas

2010-12-23T12:19:00.000-08:00

Thanks to my friend Sarah for the beautiful card, as always. And to our friends Jen & Chris for the large pic (that was not photoshopped together) and the beautiful pic of Luke - both taken during the photo shoot from the previous post.

We truly hope this season is filled with joy and hope and love for everyone and that we all take the time to remember what it's really about. Merry Christmas!

for my friends

2010-12-06T18:32:00.000-08:00

I have always considered myself fortunate to have good friends in my life. Not just fun friends, but loyal, true friends who really know and accept me. They have woven into my life at different seasons and for different reasons, but my friendships have really helped shape who I am and I'm so grateful. You know who you are.

I will be singling out one couple in this post. We are blessed to call the Hunts our friends. Jen & Chris are bright, faithful, forgiving, fun, generous, inviting, talented, beautiful, real people and I mean each of those words multi-dimensionally. If it seems like I'm gushing, I probably am, but it's appropriate. They have many other friends who I'm sure would gush right along with me. And when speaking about them, it just has to be said that they will be incredible parents when they are given children of their own and I pray that their waiting won't go on much longer. I've been struggling for a while to trust that God will give us the desires of our hearts in such a broken world. I believe He is good and knows what is best for our lives, but it's hard to lean on that belief instead of trying to carve out my own path when I don't see Him coming through the way I want him to. I'm encouraged by the honesty with struggle and perseverance of faith the Hunts live in as they wait patiently (and sometimes not so patiently) for their home to be filled with everything children bring. And when He finally reveals His path for them as parents, whatever that path may be, I'll be honored to be traveling along with them.

Just when you think they couldn't be more awesome, you learn that they are also quite excellent photographers. Here are some of my favorites from the shoot they did of our family in November. You can click on them to enlarge.

And Colin had had enough.

Thank you again Jen & Chris, for everything!

the park

2010-11-13T11:37:00.000-08:00

There are so many good parks in Charlotte, but we were introduced to a (new to us) neighborhood park a few months ago and we love it! It's a place where Justin and/or I can pretty easily handle and entertain all 3 kids, which is saying something. There typically aren't a lot of other people there outside of friends joining us. There is a good playground, picnic shelter, and sand volleyball court for the kids to dig in....or if you're Colin, a good place to take a nap.

A soccer net for soccer or just silliness with friends:

And benches for restful moments (if ever needed) or attempting a group picture:

Nothing like a good playtime at the park on a beautiful fall day. I love this time of year!

my boy luke

2010-11-12T15:52:00.000-08:00

This is one of two times lately that he has chosen his most bold pants with a mismatched striped shirt. If it wouldn't have been Sunday, I would have let him wear it all day too.

It's been a while since I've posted some Luke quotes/stories and I've gathered quite a few so I thought I'd share:

We don't say oopsy daisy, but he heard it somewhere and at some point started saying "upsy doosy", and now he says "oopsy doopsy" - pretty often.
Lately he has been starting almost every sentence with the word usually, and it really doesn't always fit. "Usually, when I was little, I ripped this book." "Usually, at school today, I had to sit in the thinking chair."
A cub scout came to the door and Luke explained to him that "my daddy is sick because he drank that drink and then he gave me some." (The drink was orange juice, not mixed with anything.)
As we were driving out of a parking lot, Luke says, "look at all those ostriches!" I look over to see several geese, so I tell him they are geese. Then he says, "oh, well those geeses are really freakin' me out!"
Luke: "what's that?" Justin: "oatmeal." Luke: "oh, that looks good for dogs."
Looking at a collage of pictures on Colin's notebook, we asked Luke which picture was his favorite. He chose one of just Colin. I asked why it was his favorite and he said, "because he's the nice one." (Sorry Nate.)
You may remember that Luke used to refer to things in his nose as ladybugs or grasshoppers, you know, depending on the size. Now his answer is a little more mature. Me: "Luke, don't pick your nose. Luke: "I'm trying to get the sugar out."
Justin texted me this conversation he had with Luke while I was at the women's retreat and it brought a smile to my face: J: Who are your friends in your class? L: um, you know, all the guys. J: Who's your favorite girl in your class? L: Molly J: who's your favorite boy in your class? L: um, just me, myself. L: Daddy, are you a skinny guy? J: No, I'm not a skinny guy. L: Then are you a hairy guy?
As I was enjoying some old school jams on the radio in the van, I realized that maybe I should pay better attention to what is playing when I heard Luke singing along with Salt-n-Pepa "ahhh, smoosh it" with the whisper voice and all!
Ok, last one...a conversation I had with Luke over dinner a while ago: I gave him black beans that he tried and didn't like. L: Do you think Jesus likes these? Me: Sure, I think so. L: I want to give my beans to Jesus because I don't like them. Me: Jesus is in heaven, how will you give them to him? L: Well, he can fly. So he can fly to get them because he has a cape and he's a superhero.

Luke is our middle child, but he more often fills the role of the oldest child in our family. He's smart and observant, intense and pensive, but he's also just a really silly almost 4 year old. He exhausts me, challenges me, and is also like me in more ways than I can count. So when I recently saw him gazing out the open car window feeling the fresh breeze on his face, I recognized the bliss and my heart flooded because what I really want is for him to be comfortable and free in our love for him so that he can enjoy simple moments like that without inhibitions.

autumn, the year's last, lovliest smile.

2010-11-02T08:44:00.000-07:00

Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree.
-Emily Bronte

Autumn is my favorite season by far. Not only do we have relief from the heat of summer, but our eyes get to feast on burning reds and bright oranges and yellows in the trees against the bluest blue sky, we smell the crisp air and feel the cool breeze through our hair. We get to pick pumpkins and eat caramel apples and drink hot spiced cider. October is the month when Justin and I had our first date, got married and had all of our boys baptized. It's also the month of candy and fun with Halloween tricks and treats. It has become the most full month of the year for our family over the past couple of years and one that produces hundreds of pictures and as many memories.

Here are a few pics from the last part of the month:

This is Luke's class at the Tot Time Noah's Ark Parade. He's the 4th from the left in the giraffe costume.

Not many art projects I can do with all 3 boys, but this one worked as well as I could hope for!

Chocolate chip pumpkin bread and caramel apples (some with chocolate) that I made for community group one night. yum.

Our neighborhood Fall Festival has been something we look forward to each year since moving into this house. Food, a bounce house, a clown making balloon animals, a petting zoo. We had beautiful weather this year too! Here's a pic of us on our way there:

Luke is casual here, but threw a fit for the entire walk home...a testament to the fun that was had and yet another example of how he is making my life difficult lately with his strong will.

Colin pretty much stayed in one place in the bounce house, but enjoyed watching the other kids and catching some bounces from them.

Luke and Nate did the opposite.

And the moment the grandmas have been waiting for, the Halloween costume pictures:

We had to let Colin walk to get him to smile.

(btw, the title of this post is a quote by William Cullan Bryant. And as someone who is not winter's #1 fan, I have to agree.) Remember to take the time to enjoy the fleeting days of autumn with me! I'll be breathing it in as much as possible to help me through the cold days to come.

meet oreo

2010-10-20T14:49:00.000-07:00

Oreo is Colin's beautiful equine friend. Colin has ridden other horses at hippotherapy, but Oreo is the regular. I have grown to love this animal (and I'm not much of an animal lover.) He's beautiful, gentle, is named after a yummy treat and has been very good to my little Colin. Oreo lets Colin ride forwards, backwards, sideways, stays calm even when Colin doesn't, walks over the bridge making Colin giggle every time, and recently has started trotting to give Colin a little thrill. How could I not fall in love with Oreo. Oh yeah, and he didn't specifically tell me so, but I think Colin loves him too.

And Ellen, his OT, she's pretty special too. That's her in the pink that Colin is sharing a look with.

I am so grateful for Shining Hope Farms, hippotherapy and everyone involved. Colin has shown more progress (with walking, communication, confidence) since starting 6 months ago than he has ever shown in a 6 month period. I can't wait to see how he does over the next 6 months!

Just for fun, here are a couple quick video clips...the first one is of Oreo taking Colin over the bridge. Notice how he keeps looking over at me to be sure I saw how awesome it was:

The second one is of Oreo trotting with Colin. Notice how Colin is relaxing and holding on and keep in mind that this is a big deal because normally he holds his hands in fists with arms curled up:

colin's crew

2010-10-19T09:04:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday, Colin's Crew participated in the Easter Seals Walk with Me event at Freedom Park in Charlotte. We've attended this event before, but this year Colin served as an honorary ambassador for Easter Seals as someone who has benefited from their services. He attended ESUCP Children's Center for 2 1/2 years before starting kindergarten this year. It was a place where he fit exactly as he was and was loved for who he is and where I began to really learn what he is capable of because of the opportunities he was given there.

So the walk was extra special this year, not only because Colin was an ambassador and it was absolutely beautiful weather, but because we had so much support from friends and family. Colin's Crew raised more than $3000 for Easter Seals thanks to so many generous donations. We also had a group of 40 people (and 3 dogs) actually walking with Colin at the event. My mom, Justin's parents, my sister and her boyfriend and a couple friends from high school living in SC traveled here to walk with us, as well as several local friends who came out, many with their families. I squealed inside as I spotted each person arriving for our group. I still feel overwhelmed with love looking at this picture of everyone:

My friend Sarah designed the t-shirt logo for us that I LOVE:

And here are a few more pics from the day:

I enjoyed this event and this weekend SO much!!! Thank you to everyone who helped make it special!

the art of checking out

2010-10-03T17:31:00.000-07:00

I would have thought that I would be a master at this considering all the ways I've tried it over the years (not that that's a good thing). But today when I watched the Panthers mostly fumble around on the field while listening to music on my IPod (while there were plenty of productive things I could have been doing), I just couldn't shake the nagging weight on my shoulders. See, I have this list of things to do that seems to grow exponentially on it's own and gets so big that all I want to do is check out some more. I really thought that once all the kids were in school for two mornings a week that I would have ample time to complete my list and still have time for myself and volunteering at school. Not so. It just seems like crossing things off my list doesn't even put a dent in the list itself. Some things get put off so long that I feel ridiculous when I finally take 2 or 10 minutes to complete it, like sending an email or making a phone call, or scheduling another doctor appointment. Some things get put off so long that the task just keeps growing, like converting video files or burning photo files onto discs so I can free up space on my computer. Other things get put off because I just really don't want to go to the DMV and wait in line for a handicapped tag for my car. Then there's always the house cleaning and cooking and grocery shopping and packing lunches, which is seriously never ending. I wish it was pleasant or even just sanitary to live in filth because it would be so much easier! So, I check out whenever I can, watching TV is a classic option for me, listening to music in the car or on my IPod, wandering around Target instead of just getting what I need, talking to someone on the phone about nothing important. I check out so that I won't have to worry about the list, but it's always there and growing, swirling above my head (even when I'm trying to forget it). I guess I've either become a procrastinator, or I just didn't have realistic expectations for all that it takes to be a stay at home mom of 3 boys and checking out is how I cope. I feel like this stage of my life is physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting. So if I'm having a conversation with you and I don't seem all there, please forgive me. If I'm slow to respond to an email or phone call, or just forget to email or call all together, please forgive me. I always have good intentions, but my follow through is lacking these days.

It has almost been a month since the candy party post. There is a list of blog post topics in my head, but please read above to try to understand why I haven't actually written about them and guess why I chose to write this post instead. Avoidance, my friends. I have hope that as I have more time with kids in school that eventually I will catch up with life, be refreshed and return to my more efficient ways! And the next blog post will be better, I promise!

candy party

2010-09-06T13:45:00.000-07:00

If you know me well, you know that I love candy. I keep a candy tub with a wide variety so that I can satisfy my sweet cravings, whether they be for chocolate, hard candy, chewy, or sweet & sour. Having that kind of a love of candy, you might be surprised at how little candy I give my kids. They get a Dumb-Dumb sucker when I'm cutting their hair and Luke got jelly beans as a reward when he was being potty trained, but other than that, the candy treats they get are few and far between.

So yesterday morning before church, Luke & Nate made up for lost time. They all woke up unusually early around 7:00. Justin had the pillow over his head, so I got them up. I was so tired I decided to lay back down in bed to give myself a few more minutes to wake up. Nate is into closing doors lately, so he came back to visit and then closed our door on his way out. Not meaning to, I fell back asleep. When I woke up an hour later, I couldn't help but notice how quiet it was in the house. I wondered what they could be doing for that long in quiet contentment without the TV on. I made my way out to the playroom to find the "candy party".

They had brought my candy tub out into the playroom and went for it. In the carnage we found evidence that they had eaten
23 Dumb Dumb suckers,
a 1/2 large box of Sourheads,
a 1/2 bag of Starburst jelly beans,
(only) 4 dove chocolates,
4 Fruit by the Foot's (the "healthiest" option),
and Luke had started on one of those giant rainbow twist suckers.
He let me know that he had a hard time getting the wrapper off, so he had gotten down the scissors to use (which he then left in the middle of the room for anyone to poke their eye out.) Needless to say, I was speechless. I could definitely appreciate their efforts, as I'm sure it was something I would have loved doing as a kid. And, yes, I also realized that it was a problem and needed to be addressed. So after I called Justin in to see, we tried to contain our laughter and took pictures and video and then Justin had a talk with them about what would happen to them if it happened again and I tacked on a no treats of any kind for one week punishment.

Well, wouldn't you know it, today we were playing outside and Luke wanted to come in. He can usually be trusted, so the rest of us stayed out. I came in to make lunch and guess what I found Luke casually snacking on...the bag of Starburst jelly beans!!! Really? I wasn't so lighthearted in my reaction this time, so I think he gets it now.

The most amazing part was that after all the junk that they ate, they weren't sick to their stomachs or overly hyper or cranky as the sugar wore off. They were too full for breakfast and a morning snack though...kind of disturbing.

If you're interested in witnessing about 5 minutes of the scene as we discovered what happened, click here to see it on YouTube.

end of summer

2010-08-17T09:36:00.000-07:00

As this summer is coming to an end, I'm getting a lot of "How was your summer?"'s. Honestly, I don't know. It was hot. I was tired most of the time. Luke really tested his limits and brought me to mine often. We took a couple trips up north. I had an incredible birthday party. I enjoyed watching more movies than I have in a while. Luke went to his first VBS. It went by really fast.

Our most recent trip to Ohio was just Luke, Nate and me for a few restful days. Justin stayed home with Colin. I hung out with family, slept in, watched movies, had ice cream from Dietsch's every day, ate lunch at the senior center with my grandparents...yes, the kids were there, my mom and Tom were just very helpful with them! It was nice to come home feeling refreshed in my role as mother having had a break.
On our first night there, the boys let some energy out with water gun fun with Grandma and I was able to get some good pics:My grandparents in their usual seat at the senior center for my lunch with them:Our last night there was the first night of the Findlay Balloon Fest, which was sort of like a fair set-up with a bunch of hot air balloons. The boys rode ponies, played in bounce houses, ate shaved ice and watched the balloon display. It was HOT and HUMID but it was something different, so it was fun. I really wished Colin and Justin could have joined us for this:
Before our trip to Ohio, we decided to take a family field trip on the light rail. It was actually the first time I rode it! So I wasn't quite prepared when the train started moving and I bit it right into Colin's walker. I still have a large bruise healing on my right thigh! It was a good day though. We rode to uptown and then took a little walk around, saw Justin's new office, then rode back. It was a random little adventure, but fun. We're trying to get out of our comfort zone to do more things like this with the kids!And as this summer ends, I can't help but think about the fact that in one week, Colin will be starting Kindergarten. Oh my gosh. He is going to miss UCP so much and I hope he'll understand when we explain to him that he won't be going back. I hope he loves his new teachers at Beverly Woods and that the children are kind to him. I hope for those things and so much more. I want him to always be my happy Colin.

what the...?

2010-08-01T15:41:00.001-07:00

Look at this and tell me my husband isn't weird.Justin has been searching for new, comfortable casual shoes to where "everywhere". Do these look like they would be appropriate for that purpose? Um, yeah, that's what I said. Then I brought over my neighbor to contribute her opinion and she covered her mouth and asked if this was serious. Sadly, the answer was yes. Well, all you wives out there know that I couldn't allow these shoes to become part of his everyday wardrobe even if they are "the hottest thing out there". Even Luke knows that "they look like a messed up rake". They are going back to the store, but first I had to share Justin's latest questionable fashion choice with everyone.
*He later admitted to me that while he actually did like the shoes (for whatever reason) he partially bought them to see me react to them. Mission accomplished :)
*I also wanted to mention that I have Justin's approval on this post so that you don't think I'm just being mean! I love him despite his sometimes "off the mark" purchases.

the birthday party experience

2010-08-01T11:10:00.000-07:00

I don't play the guitar, I can't dunk a basketball or tie a cherry stem knot with my tongue. I think it's safe to say though, that I can do something far, far better than any of those things. I can make friends with some incredible people. I have had a long history of great moments with good friends in my life, but last Friday night I was thrown a 33rd birthday party that made me feel more loved by friends than I ever have before. More than a week has passed and I am still overwhelmed and can't help but feel undeserving of the amount of energy and $ that went into planning, preparing and executing this complete birthday party experience. Every detail was personal with my favorite colors, foods, custom designed invites, cards, signs, stickers all by Sarah, even the quote from the top of this blog was printed inside the boxes of favors with homemade "Tricia's Truffles" for everyone. The presentation was beautiful and the sentiment even more so. It was my 33rd, not a milestone 30th or 40th, a birthday I would normally be happy to let pass without any fuss, but my friend Jen wasn't having it. She let me know in January that she wanted to throw me a birthday to give me 6 months to embrace the idea. Turns out that wasn't even enough time to prepare me for what she and Sarah had in store. It was an intimate gathering with just 7 close Charlotte friends and myself. The small size allowed for more extravagance.
This was the table setting. Above the table, coordinating paper lanterns were hanging in the trees. Leading into the yard and up to the table were glass lanterns with lit candles. The atmosphere was incredible. As the sun set, candle light took over. (Click to enlarge and see the floral centerpiece.)
This was each person's place setting. The brown box held the truffles and inside the envelope were conversation starters (Kim makes me feel...I wish Kim knew she was...When I think of Kim she is wearing...I hope that one day Kim will...If Kim was not in my life...) and needless to say, many of the statements brought me to tears. This party was designed to make me feel loved and each friend there had a part in doing that through their kind words and generous compliments. It was a moment I'll never forget.

Then, oh my, the food. Peel & eat shrimp, mozzarella & tomatoes, stuffed mushrooms, chicken lettuce wraps, bread and olive oil, and spinach artichoke dip with toasted pita points. Yum.......and this party was not catered. And then desserts, because a party for me would not be complete without sweets! Cupcakes, Symphony brownies, macaroons, creme puffs, and a frozen strawberry treat that was perfect for the hot evening. Most of these descriptions are of physical elements of the party and I feel like the emotional atmosphere was just as important to me, just much harder to describe. It was this moment of knowing that I was surrounded by people who are so important to me and seeing and hearing that I'm important to them too. It was just so special to me and I'm incredibly grateful. So thank you friends for knowing me, loving me, and giving me a night to remember and draw from in moments of lacking confidence. I hope you all can at some point have a similar experience and that I'm there to share it with you!

vacation

2010-07-11T19:52:00.000-07:00

I think sometimes vacations are necessary to temporarily - sort of - check out of your life mentally. We took our annual vacation north to visit family this summer over the past week and a half. Of course we still had obligations and parental duties, but we also were able to (thanks to our wonderful parents) sleep in a few times, take some naps and let go a little of the heavy responsibility of life as grown-ups and parents. If you take a quick look through my last few posts, you'll see glimpses of what I mean. Now that I'm back to real life as I know it, I can reflect on some high and low lights of the trip and be thankful for the little break from reality!

The low light (we'll just get this out of the way) was when Nate wandered away from several adults in Justin's back yard to venture across the street to the park all by himself in nothing but his swim trunks and bare feet. I was terrified to realize he was absent from our group and ran to find him being escorted back across the street by some woman with a car stopped to wait for them. I can only imagine what happened before I arrived on the scene because I was so humiliated and shaken that all I could do was scoop him up and thank the woman while I turned my back so that she couldn't get a good look at my horrible mother face. My dreams have been haunted with missing children every night since as if it wasn't already a huge fear of mine. Here's the little escape artist:On a much more pleasant note...the highlights:
+Seeing Eclipse twice (once with my mom and sister and once with Justin's sister, the only Team Jacob fan...booo!) has to make the list...as I've been looking forward to it since I became a fan of the books last fall. I'll leave it at that since I've over-posted about that topic lately and wouldn't want you to think I'm crazier than you already do.
+My sister came home for the entire time we were in OH and while I truly loved seeing all of our family, I appreciated having lots of time to hang with her since she's all the way over on the West coast. She's fun...love you Brookie.
+I had my 15 year high school reunion and was able to catch up with some great people from half my life ago. It was easy conversation (in most cases) and I have to say that so many FHS girls are looking even better now than they did then! Glad to see that life is treating so many old friends well.
+I was able to celebrate my birthday with family. We did have a two hour conversation about what to have for dinner that was a big buzz kill, but before that, we had a cake fight that was good for my soul and Luke wished me happy birthday so many times that my heart overflowed.
+Nate experienced his first 4th of July fireworks which didn't go over so well at first, but then he decided to enjoy the show. I drank the moment in as we all watched the display of dancing lights with ooohs and aahs.+Colin decided he wanted to walk with the assistance of only one hand...a big step in balance and control for him. We were all excited with the progress!
+We met Andrew (Justin's sister's youngest) for the first time and watched the relationships of the 5 Bender-Kaliszewski boys grow. The cousins are Colin - 5, Luke - 3 1/2, Jack - 2, Nate - 1 1/2, and Andrew - 6 months. It was chaos, but so much fun for everyone! We wondered aloud together several times what it would be like at future gatherings.+ Game night at the Kali's playing Apples to Apples...it was of course fun that I dominated, but more fun to just be silly with Justin's family.

My favorite pics of our boys from the trip:
Happy Colin.
Shy Luke.Sweet Nate.My fave pic of our family of 5.And our mode of transportation had to earn a spot on this post...thank you Honda Odyssey for your DVD player and spacious seating area.Colin loved his little red neck pillow so much that this has been the scene at night since we've been home:Justin and I decided that overall, this was probably the most enjoyable trip we've made to our hometowns with the kids up to this point...hope our families feel the same in the wake of our craziness! :)

even better

2010-07-11T09:42:00.000-07:00

If you liked our Team Edward picture before, check this out:You can click on it to enlarge if you want the full effect.
Thanks to Brooke and her PhotoShop skills :)

cake fight

2010-07-05T11:03:00.000-07:00

I may be taking the blame for starting it, but Justin is the one who put the idea in my head. Regardless, it was just so much fun to be irresponsible and spontaneous.Brooke, Mom and Tom joined in too even though they aren't in these pictures. We actually burned off a lot of calories chasing each other around the yard to smash cake on heads instead of shoveling it in our mouths...so maybe this was the responsible choice after all.

team edward

2010-07-03T13:33:00.001-07:00

Yes, I did buy an Edward t-shirt on sale at WalMart for $3 and yes, I did wear it proudly to see Eclipse in the theater with my mom and sister. They were jealous, so yes, they did write "Team Edward" on their arms with black eyeliner to wear to the movie. This is our Twilight poster pose...tough, right?

And in case you are wondering... yes, we did love the movie and will surely be seeing it again!

yum.

2010-06-18T17:40:00.001-07:00

I've come a long way from my days of being able to only make noodles & broth and macaroni & tomatoes. I made this southern classic Charleston Shrimp & Grits tonight and let me tell you...yum. I was so thrilled with the turn-out that I had to brag.I've had a few requests for this recipe, so here it is:

baked grits:
4 cups water
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 cup uncooked grits
2 eggs, beaten
8 tbsp butter (I used 1/2 that & it was perfectly fine!)
1 1/2 cups grated monterey jack and cheddar cheese, combined
2 cloves garlic, crushed
dash of cayenne pepper

Preheat oven to 350. Bring water and salt to a boil. Add grits to boiling water, stirring constantly for one minute. Cover and cook, stirring occasionally, until grits are thick and creamy. Temper eggs with a small amount of hot grits, then add back to remaining grits. Combine remaining ingredients with grits and pour into a 2 quart casserole dish. Bake for 45 min.

While the grits are baking in the oven, make the shrimp and gravy portion:
1 1/2 pounds uncooked medium shrimp, peeled and deveined
juice of 1 lemon
hot sauce
6 thick slices bacon, chopped
1 cup chopped mushrooms
1 small onion, finely chopped
1/4 cup chopped green bell peppers
1 garlic clove, minced
1/2 cup thinly sliced scallions
2 tbsp unbleached all purpose flour
1 cup chicken stock
salt to taste (about a 1/2 tsp)

1. Combine the shrimp with the lemon juice and a couple generous splashes of hot sauce. Set aside.
2. Fry the bacon and mushrooms in a skillet over medium heat until brown, but still limp. Stir in the onion, green pepper and garlic and continue cooking until the onion and pepper are limp, about 5 minutes. Add the scallions, sprinkle the flour over the mixtuer, and continue sauteing for 5 min. longer. Stir in the stock and salt and cook for 5 min. longer. (Option: remove from heat at this point until grits are almost done then return to med. heat for next step.) Stir in the shrimp. Cook until the shrimp are opaque throughout , about 5 min.

Serve immediately, mounding grits in large shallow bowls or on plates and covering them with shrimp and gravy. Enjoy!

mega post

2010-06-14T17:01:00.000-07:00

Get ready for it.
Normally, this post would be separated into several separate posts. BUT, we've had a lot going on, so get ready for a mega-recap:

Friends of ours recently moved and we offered to watch their kids a couple times to give them a little time to pack without so many little distractions around. This means that we had twice the normal amount of little ones at this house and it was crazy - crazy fun for them. We took a walk with all of them the first night.Then we calmed down from the evening of playing with a little tv watching...goggles optional.And the 2nd time we had them it was a water play day!

Next. Ice cream truck ice cream for the very first time! Made me remember frantically searching for change when I was a kid so that I wouldn't have to chase the truck too far. Luke ironically picked one called a "Lucas bar". It was mango flavored. I shared an orange dreamcicle with Nate.

Next. Nate had hives for about 2 days. I have no idea what caused them but it was pitiful and looked like this:
Next. Colin graduated from preschool (which I'm aware SO deserves it's own post). It was sweet and I was unexpectedly emotional. It was so special to see all of the kids make their way across the stage in their adorable mini cap and gowns. It afforded me the opportunity to reflect on just how far Colin has come since he started attending UCP 2 1/2 years ago. That's important when his progress is often eclipsed by his brothers'. I'm not afraid to admit that I'm scared to send him to kindergarten next year, but am immensely grateful for the wonderful school experience he's had so far. Sadly the lighting was not great inside, so I didn't get many good pics, but they gave us a great picture of Colin in his cap and gown that I hope to scan and post later.
Here are the boys heading in for the big event:Colin in his little cap and gown:And our attempt at yet another stellar family photo. Please look at Luke's hair:
Next. Another topic that deserves it's own post is the birthday party we just had for the boys (Colin-5, Luke-3 1/2, Nate 1 1/2) at Monkey Joes. It was a great time for all...I will likely post more pics in another post, but for now here are a few basics.
I made the favors (candy sticks with rolled up sticker sheets tied to them), cupcakes and cupcake toppers. (I couldn't top last year's hamburger cake, but I still made them with love.)
Nate seemed to enjoy them:
And here are each of the boys in action:Colin stood up here on his own!
Next and last, but certainly not least.
This was a birthday present for Nate and he has been loving it all day. He thinks he's pretty awesome. For some reason, it makes me think of that country song "she thinks my tractor's sexy" (or something like that. I'm not a country fan.) I'm looking forward to showing these pictures to some sweet girl who captures Nate's heart one day to see if she thinks his tractor is sexy:
Well, this post has finally come to an end. Would you believe me if I told you that I really left out a lot of good stuff! Hopefully I'll be able to do an expansion post for a few topics here soon. Until then...

this kid

2010-06-04T17:02:00.000-07:00

This kid wanted coconut and fruity pebbles on top of his chocolate frozen yogurt and ate every bite:
He also did the following:
♥ He asked why there was a hole in the bread in the pb&j sandwich I made him. During my explanation, I mentioned that lots of things have holes and some have uses like the one in the cup he drinks out of. Processing this, he said, "yeah, and my butt has a hole so that poop can come out." Yes, just like that.
♥ We were hanging out at the beautiful fountain outside the Southpark Mall with some friends the other day and the kids were trying to lean over and drink the water. My friend tells them not to do that because birds pee in the water. I'm pretty sure Luke only heard the words "pee in the water" because next came my shriek of "Noooooo!" as I see him standing on the edge with his pants down ready to pee in the water! I caught him in time not to pee in the water, but people enjoying their meals outside California Pizza Kitchen got a nice show.
♥ Last night after his bath, he was getting dressed and I heard a train of gas escaping his little bottom. I asked him if he needed to go poop and he said, "no, I just poppin'".

This kid is just a cute mess:Don't be fooled by all of the stuffing of the face pics, he's been a very picky eater lately. Very frustrating! I guess every time he decides to eat, it's a special occasion and I feel the need to take a picture!

And This kid is graduating from his beloved preschool tomorrow:And he really loves his brothers.

happy birthday colin!

2010-05-30T17:40:00.000-07:00

The sweetest 5 year old we know had his birthday yesterday.So, we're having a joint birthday party for all 3 boys in a couple weeks, but still wanted the day to be special. So we started with a walk in his brand new walker (just came in on Thursday - great timing!). And of course, he loved it.We ate lunch out, which is something we don't typically do and were pleasantly surprised at how smooth it went and how much fun we all had. Next we went to Toys & Co. to play and see what might interest Colin for a birthday present. He loved exploring there with his brothers and guess what we found that was totally perfect for his gift...A rocking horse! Colin seemed to gravitate toward this horse. I actually really wanted to get him something to do with horses because of his new love of them, so it was perfect. (A few months ago, I probably would have never considered putting this in our house because it's not exactly my style, but who could deny this sweet boy a birthday wish?) He won't open it until the party day, but he's being very gracious about that.

We ate dinner on the newly refinished deck (thanks to the hard work of Justin and his Dad),then we went to get frozen yogurt at a new place called Yoforia (yum!), played outside and took another walk to cap off a great day! Colin loved it all, but then again, he's never been much of a complainer :)

These past 5 years have been heavy at times, but it's been an incredible time of growth for all of us who have the blessing of Colin as a central part of our lives. Five years old means Kindergarten next year, the start of a new phase of his life. It's crazy. It's given me a new perspective about him and what he's capable of and will be capable of. I'm terrified and hopeful all at the same time. I'm sure he'll just continue to plug along and throw in a few surprises for us here and there. The biggest surprise of all so far I think, is how much I needed him in my life and how clearly I see that now. God really has a way of shaking things up for our own good!

a different world

2010-05-12T11:56:00.000-07:00

I've been reflecting recently on what a different world we live in. What is completely normal to us in a day (and other parents in the same stage we are) is confusing chaos for others. I know this because I see faces of friends who visit and hear honest reactions from our own parents who've been through it, but are definitely past it. Our world now is certainly crazy, but one day we will be past it and I want to remember the silly, strange, wonderful non-events that make this time special like....
Luke wearing goggles inside the house:
Colin completely relaxed for once:
Or Nate sharing his mad musical skills on the harmonica:

I love being surprised by something the kids say or do like:
Nate biting off pieces of a stress ball.
Nate taking an empty box from me that I think he wants to play with and putting it in the recycling bin.
Luke appearing to have a type (watch out all you curly blond haired little girls!)
Luke explaining his maturing process this way: "Babies grow into big boys, big boys grow into mens. I'm growing into a men soon." - We've had lots of talks on this topic.
Luke giving our newlywed neighbors Rachael and Brian a celebrity couple name "Brachael"...and dropping his pants to pee in the middle of their back yard as we eat dinner.
Luke using the term "A Colin" and explaining that "A Colin is a different kind of person."
Colin being extra bold with pulling up on anything he can reach and some things you wouldn't think he could reach (the kitchen counter!)
Colin responding to specific verbal cues (always the best surprise when you realize your nonverbal child understands something you're telling him...and listens!)

So many funny little blessings in our life. Glad for these blog posts as opportunities to reflect with fondness in the midst of this crazy world.

hippotherapy +

2010-04-25T18:17:00.000-07:00

It has been a crazy last couple of weeks which is why I haven't posted since the big walking weekend. Colin is continuing to get in lots of walking practice though. He also started hippotherapy (with horses). I posted at the end of last year about a trip to Shining Hope Farms where we were introduced to the idea and am thrilled that he finally had his first session this past Wednesday. He's working with an OT, Ellen who is as sweet as can be and seems very comfortable with Colin. I can't wait to see the progress that comes from this special type of therapy, especially in such an obvious time a growth for him.
They encouraged me to take pics and video and hope to use it to compare progress with his posture and strength over time. I have a video of him riding forward, but it was too long and was taking forever to upload to blogger, so here is the shorter one of him riding backward...he actually has a really cute reaction to the horse in this one anyway!

I just love watching him giggle and enjoy himself so much!

+ in strange news...
I french braided Luke's hair the other day. Hey, I don't have any girls and wondered if I still had braiding skills. See for yourself:Luke cheerfully declared tonight that he liked beer after the tiniest sip of Jusin's (don't judge us). His face definitely gave away that lie!

We got new furniture with our tax return $, Nate pensively models one of the chairs for you here:
Last in strange news, Justin swears that he heard Colin in his bedroom this morning saying "One, two, three, four". Hmmm. I think if anything, Colin was saying "O-pen the door" because soon after he was pounding on it as loud as he possibly could. Thanks to Luke who actually went in to get Colin, we got to cherish about 60 extra seconds in bed. I'll take it!

walking

2010-04-12T18:59:00.000-07:00

Colin made huge learning to walk progress on Friday thanks to a new chest support attachment to his walker. We celebrated this victory with him by giving him lots of practice over the weekend! Instead of a long story from me, I'll let Colin's little feet (look at 'em go!) do the talking...and walking in this video:

The song is "Walking" by The 63 Crayons

hurray today!

2010-04-04T12:08:00.000-07:00

The family today at a friends' house for brunch.

The true meaning of celebrating Easter has been on my mind a lot this season due to the education of our knowledge-seeking 3 year old. It's been a great opportunity for me to be cognizant of my beliefs as well. Today at church, the message was beautiful and clear: We were meant for a better world than this one and as believers, one day we will be there. One day all things will be made new. (Revelations 21:1-8)

Mark, our pastor, mentioned an analogy (womb; life) that I loved in his sermon today. Babies have eyes, ears, legs, fingers, etc. developing when they are in the womb. They don't have much use for them there, but are developing them, nonetheless. After they are born into this new world is when they really get to use them. We each continue on through life developing gifts and skills God has given us all. But those gifts and skills are only being used in this fuzzy, muted way in this life compared to what they will develop into in Heaven for all eternity. Can you imagine the potential if this is just the womb of our life?

"Aim at Heaven and you get Earth thrown in as well. Aim at Earth and you get neither." -CS Lewis

You know, this life has been just hard enough for me that I'm SO looking forward to Heaven. Not that I want to die today and leave right now all the blessings I have have in this world, but when it is my time (hopefully a long, long time from now), you all can know that I won't mind spending eternity in Heaven. Seriously. For now, I just need to focus on loving well and developing the gifts God has given me in this life so they can be that much more useful for all eternity!

Ok, I'm done with the intensity for this post...now for some fun pics and stories.
First, the inspiration for today's post title, a song Luke learned at school and has been singing randomly for the past week or so:

Hurray today, Jesus is alive!

Nate's funny little noises will never get old to me and this video captures one of them, along with his new favorite activity - climbing on the kitchen table. Now he doesn't even need the booster seat to help him - so I decided I had to bottle up some of that talent and pride on film:

My friend Jen was mentoring an aspiring photographer earlier this week and Nate and I had the good fortune to be the subjects...here's one of the shots:
An Easter gift from Grandma Anne for the boys was this sand and water table. I think in the future, it will just be a water table. Looks like innocent fun for all, but was quite a mess that I just don't think I want to deal with every day!Plus, this happened (oh yeah, the sand was green):
Don't worry, he forgave Luke:
But still a good thing I decided on only water because this happened the next day:All the water play tired Colin out...this is how I found him asleep last night around 10:00:Luke having some fun with friends at the brunch today:and on the dad-built pirate ship:and silly faces after our final Easter egg hunt of the year:Happy Easter!

bus driver wisdom

2010-03-24T18:16:00.000-07:00

All 3 boys in one picture?...this is as good as it gets people:
This morning I took Colin out to the bus for school and as usual, he was so excited that with one arm he waved at the bus drivers and with the other, he hit me repeatedly on the head. Noting Luke and Nate looking out the front window at us, the bus driver commented that I have my hands full. This is something I hear often and I would agree. Then she said that these were the best days of my life. I mean, I get that these days are precious and irreplaceable, but the best of my life? I wasn't sure and she could tell that from my reaction so she expanded and said that these are the best days because now I can hold them in my lap and later I'll have to hold them in my heart. Oh, something about that touched my heart. I've been thinking about it all day. I love reminders like that to love this place in life even when I'm exhausted from kids running me ragged the day after having the stomach flu. So tonight, we enjoyed the beautiful weather and I took a few new pics of my little sweethearts.
This sweet face would never hit me in the head on purpose:
Oh glorious hair:
And look at this sweet angel:Certainly that little angel would never be caught doing this:
Well, I guess I'm to blame for this one...but I didn't expect him to take to it so well and just want to whip it out anywhere. (He tried to do this in the picnic area at Lazy 5 Ranch too!) I think my other mom friends with boys (and possibly the bus driver) would be proud of me for embracing this convenience and letting him just be a boy!

intellect

2010-03-17T18:50:00.001-07:00

I'm not a genius, but I am decently smart. Last night I felt pretty unintelligent though. I went to see the movie Remember Me (a film about grief, love and loss starring my fave Rob Pattinson). For about the first 15 minutes of the movie, I felt almost as if I was watching a foreign language film. Oh, they were speaking perfectly clear English including (I think) some great quotes that if I could have fully processed, I'm sure I would have loved. I just couldn't shift my mind from what had consumed it throughout the day: Luke, put your underwear and pants on, you can't run around the house like that. Luke, listen to me. Luke, don't whine. Nate, get off the kitchen table - how did you get up there? Luke, listen to me the first time I tell you something. Nate, stop screaming, I can't hold you all day. Luke, listen to me. Luke, put your underwear and pants on. You flushed your truck down the toilet?!!?!! Nate, stay off the kitchen table!

Really, my mind is not challenged most days. My patience is certainly challenged, but that's very different. It was just alarming to me that I had such a hard time readjusting to the outside world and made me wonder how many conversations I've had with people who wondered what I had been smoking. Just the haze of being a mother of 3 young boys, I would like to reassure anyone asking.

In thinking about this today, I also found it very interesting that while my mind is going numb, Luke and Nate are ever impressing me with their displays of intellect. Luke continues to amaze me with his memory, persistence and even his manipulative abilities. We've been playing the game Guess Who lately (the game where you each have a board with 24 people and you ask yes or no questions to figure out which person the other player has.) This game is for ages 6 and up and Luke plays like a pro. He has the people from both boards mostly memorized by location and name. It's almost pointless to play the game out, but he doesn't care who "wins", he just enjoys the process. I've had to remind myself constantly that he is only 3 years old when I begin to expect more from him than is probably fair. It's just tough to figure out where to draw the line between cognitive maturity and emotional maturity. Nate is also incredibly persistent and crafty. Once he figured out yesterday how to pull Luke's booster seat off the chair, step on it to climb onto the chair, then climb from there onto the kitchen table, I found him several times with a wide mouth, wrinkled nose grin standing atop the kitchen table in triumph. While he is tiring, I don't find him quite as frustrating as Luke because I still consider him a baby, but I suppose someone wants to tell me, "oh, just you wait." I'm well aware of what may be in my future with that one!

In an interesting shift in our lives over the past several years, Colin is now the easy child. Sure we still struggle to feed and change him, but behaviorally, he's like a little angel. He's not manipulative or demanding and he surely doesn't complain or whine. A day with him doesn't cause me emotional exhaustion. Of course, he's the one at school every day. Probably a good thing for him, because when he is home, the other two demand so much from me, poor Colin gets what is left over. When he was younger and we were struggling, we were told that all kids were difficult at different stages and that when other parents were worried about their teenage kids drinking and having sex, that we wouldn't have those worries to balance out the 2 years of no sleep, huge amounts of spit up and his therapy schedule that ruled my life, along with the emotional stress and grief of having a child who doesn't exactly match your expectation. Who knew some of that balance would come sooner than the teenage years.

I'm sure the tides will continue to ebb and flow and each new season will bring new challenges and joys. I just need to remember to pay attention to the good stuff more than the tough stuff because I want to look back on the time with my kids with fondness. I want to remember cuddling with Nate and that wide mouth, wrinkled nose grin. I want to remember the sound of Luke's voice, raspy from talking my ear off about everything and nothing, his incredible mind and his sweet face when he runs to give me a hug as if I'd been gone forever instead of just to the bathroom. I want to remember Colin's subtle ways of communicating and his laughter as I walk him to the house from the bus after school.

So maybe my mind isn't challenged much these days, but if I'm smart enough to remember the things that count, then I guess I'll consider myself pretty blessed.
my little blessings and me at the Lazy 5 Ranch.

PS. Literally the minute I published this post, Nate began crying in bed. When I went in to check, I found him with puke all over himself and his crib. I spent the next 3 hours cleaning up several more rounds (thank goodness for wood floors) and soothing him with his sick tummy. The silver lining I'll try to remember? The sweet way he finally fell asleep in my lap as I gently rubbed his forehead and watched his sweet angel face drifting off to sleep.

staycation

2010-02-23T19:41:00.000-08:00

Justin accepted a new job that he will start in a couple weeks. In the meantime, we get family time! We thought about a beach trip to celebrate, but in the end decided to just stay in Charlotte and take advantage of some of the wonderful family activities available here that we normally wouldn't do while enjoying the convenience (and cost effectiveness) of home...a staycation, if you will. I haven't gotten many pictures, but only because I've been a participant and the fun we've had as a family makes up for the lack of pictures to show what we've done. Monday was Plaza Fiesta (a giant indoor tunnels, slides, and high climbing adventure). We ALL had fun at this. We even got to compete on the 3 side by side racer slides (Luke on one, Justin & Colin on one, and Nate & me on one) - I always won because I had the "fastest pants" as was decided by Justin. It was exhausting for us to keep up with Luke and assist Colin and Nate for the 2 hours we spent there, but so worth it to hear them laugh and see their smiles. So much fun. We also went to the pet store Monday night...I know, not that exciting, but for our kids who are being deprived of a pet because I refuse to get one, it's something they enjoy. Plus, it was Nate's first time there when he could really react and he was so cute loving the dogs.

Today was the Lazy 5 Ranch. This is the first time any of us have been there. We bought buckets of animal feed and then drove through this 3.5 mile path feeding hogs, emus, alpacas, ostriches, goats, and others which I couldn't identify (not even sure I correctly identified the ones I just listed.) We kept the mini-van side doors open and held the bucket out and the animals actually came over and stuck their heads inside the van to get at the food. I don't even like animals but I have to say that I even thought it was a fun experience. Luke kept saying "Oh my" and "Oh my goodness" and both he and Colin giggled throughout the ride. We also saw long horned cattle, zebras, giraffes, camels, buffalo. It was a really unique experience. I have to tell that at one point Luke needed to pee and since there was no one around, I actually let him pee out the door of the van. I guess that's a nice thing about having boys! However, after we ate our picnic lunch, Luke announced that he had to go pee pee and then just pulled his pants down right there. I stopped him and took him up to the restroom, but we did get a little laugh out of it!

For the next part, I actually took some pictures. They have a petting zoo and walk through observation area too. Some highlights were the baby goats, beautiful birds (ok, this one wasn't the most beautiful, but Luke was funny imitating this bird), including peacocks (amazing creatures), and kangaroos or wallabies (I'm not sure which they were), we could see this one had a joey in her pouch - he popped his head out just for this picture:Luke and Colin are back to school tomorrow, but we will be continuing the family fun sporadically until Justin starts his new job...and I'm hoping it starts a trend beyond that because we really have been enjoying each other and ourselves! It's been a refreshing change that we all needed!

happy ♥ day

2010-02-12T14:16:00.000-08:00

These are the homemade valentines we made this year. To all the moms out there who bought valentines at Target this year, please know that was my plan too, I was just really in the mood to do something crafty (that Luke could help with and not make too big of a mess) because I have been feeling guilty for letting him watch too much tv lately. He chose and glued the hearts on the front and then placed the sticker and wrote his name on the inside of each card (except the ones we made for Colin and I helped him write his own name in those!) They didn't turn out to be the most "boyish" of cards, but I loved the way they looked, so I took a couple pics in some light that I liked coming in on the kitchen floor. - Still playing around with the camera :)

Another color accent setting photo:

Oh, and I had to get a picture of these guys so I could tell the story below. (Roll your eyes now, Twilight haters...notice the Eclipse book in the pic for those of us already excited to reunite with Edward this summer!)So the toy soldiers...
At the Plaza Fiesta arcade, we got these little guys to use up the last 20 points of our 250 at the prize counter, an afterthought really. I picked them out, but Luke has really taken a liking to them. Here are some of the stories he's made up about them:
~ The "whacktack guys" are "a different kind of man" and they hold swords (not guns) and the "preacher" (the guy to the far right in the pic) battles all the others. "The other guys don't like the preacher and they are gonna whip him. But the preacher knocked out the one guy and then gave him stickers (band-aids) so he feels better." Then the other guys had a "making music" battle with their swords while they skateboarded (I guess the base could look like a skateboard.)
I just love how creative he is but don't ask me where he came up with most of that!

A few other recent Luke quotes:
~"I don't put my face in the toilet because I don't want Daddy to spank me." (yes, among other reasons.)
~"I'm just a little kid." (a common defense when he is in trouble)
~"I was having bad news." (when he woke up after a bad dream)
~"L.U.K.E and that spells ME!"
~ I was eating a KitKat and scheming for a piece, he said "hey mommy, I love to share with you."
~And a gross one, consider yourself warned. One night as he was getting ready for bed, he burped, made a face of severe distaste, swallowed, and then said, "mmm, pizza, my favorite" with a weak smile on his face.

And with that, we wish you all a happy Valentine's day ♥